How to Love

We were having dinner at a local Mexican cantina that we found The Boy, Teen 2, hubby, and I.

The Boy is a restless eater.
He can never sit still.
At home, he leans back on the chairs lays down,
rolls around in the chairs
slips out from under the dining table to fetch a glass of this or that

At the restaurant, he finishes a portion of his taco plate
stands up and makes his way over to me

I look at his little face thats growing and changing
I stare into his warewolf eyeballs that change colors
I admire the little freckles across the bridge of his nose and upper cheeks

I look at his face, pull him in close to me and say "I love you son"
He looks at me, smiles, then turns away.

Son, I love you. I repeat.
He gives me that one raised eyebrow crooked face.

Tell me, you love me. I plea.
I look at his dad with that "you better make him tell me he loves me" face.
Hubby nudges the boy, tell your mom. iloveyou.

he quickly says without looking at me.
Sheesh, who taught you how to love, your dad? I ask.
With a straight face, he looks at me and replies- Little Wayne.

It Takes a Bush

Our family tree is not grown perfectly upright

with all its branches and leaves pruned just right
where the green grass grows all around and around…
where the green grows all around

We’re better compared to a bush

As my Stepmom’s husband
(who, just to clarify, is not my Dad)
would say.

And our bush has been growing wildly.

Hence my absence.

Teen 1 has since grown all up-
graduated, married, had a beautiful baby boy, and moved out
(not particularly in that order, but hey, that’s how we do)

Teen 2 is now a senior- Yikes. That’s all I can say about that.
She has a job, earned enough credits early to have minimum days at school, and is deciding what to do when she grows up

And our rambunctious little toddler is now a full grown boy.

Raising teenagers is no walk in the park.
It’s been beyond challenging.
I know I was no angel, if you recall this blog-http://daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/2009/07/life-changingteen-pregnancy.html
this was a doozy on my parents.

I often talk to my parents and tell them I don’t know how they dealt with it.
How do you deal with a teenage pregnancy, knowing yourself how hard it is.
Knowing the discrimination your child will go through.
How do you deal with your child raising their own child in your home.

I’ve also been that mom that’s gone into a house party at midnight to search for my daughter, grabbed a hold of her, and yelled at anyone & everyone in my way.

And probably would’ve beaten the living crap out of her if I knew they weren’t watching.

It’s
Been
ROUGH
to say the least.

But life is challenging.

I’m sure I’m not alone- even though I felt as though I was
Many times throwing my hands up in the air and giving up
Wanting to quit the roll of being the mom

But with the help of my husband and all the branches of our bush

We survived.

We’ve come out better people.
Things have calmed down (knock on wood)
Everyone has branched out into their own person
Although I know it will change
They will change
We will grow more branches
Which will produce more little leaves

Colors will change with the seasons
We will continue to love and nurture the bush
And we will all be there to support one another
We hope you follow along as we grow
Janelle

Moments of Serenity

I despise homework

My fourth grade teacher helped to solidify my disdain
I already had a dislike for it
Mr. O’Mally didn’t believe in it. Period.
He told us so
In fourth grade
My little brain attached to that concept
He was smart, he was a teacher
He dressed up as a leprechaun for St. Patrick’s Day for goodness sake
He taught us how to construct wooden napkin holders with real saws and workhorses
He taught us how to build rockets that actually flew through the air
From that year on, I didn’t believe in homework either


As life would have it, I would end up with 3 kids of my own
3 kids that would obviously go to school
3 kids that would have homework
The thought of their homework makes me irritable
I try, they try
I get frustrated, they get frustrated
I explain, they roll their eyes
I instruct, they complain

I curse you Mr. O'Mally *shakes fist in the air*

Thankfully the teenagers are in high school
and I’m pretty clueless so they hardly ask for help
The Boy has started doing his homework at daycare

Wheh…

Until yesterday,
Teen 2 was at the dining room table working on her homework when I stepped foot in the door
The Boy had completed some pages at school,
but I told him to sit down and study his spelling words and math
Teen 1 must’ve felt the homework bug in the air and came out of her cave bedroom
to inform me that she needed help with her school assignment, a resume
So here they are, all 3 of them
At the table, looking at me for guidance to do their homework

I tried to remain calm

The Boy complained that I didn’t pronounce the word “hand” correctly as I quizzed him.
Mom, You said had, you tricked me
Seriously, kid? H A N D …geez!!

Teen 1 tried to reel me in,
Mom, I want to be a photographer because they I won't have a boss
You’re gonna be 18 in how many days? I’m thinking
The thought of her being an adults absolutely terrifies me.
I inform her, that she will indeed have a boss
and her customers will most certainly be in that category
Teen 2 and The Boy push each other’s papers at each other
Sighing and glaring at each other with irritation.

The Hubs knowing to stay clear of the warzone and offers to cut up ingredients for dinner

But for just a minute, one solitary moment
There it was
Peace
As they all followed directions
As they all sat there doing their homework
Teen 1 asking and accepting my answers
The Boy re-writing words that he needed to study
And Teen 2, just knowing what to do
Relief

I exhaled, serenity, I thought to myself

MOM!!!!!

Even if just for a moment…



http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Akward Family photos part deuce

remember when i was so worried about taking family photos?

If not, read here.

It turned out that there was no need to be nervous,

Jack was amazing as usual, this kid has a true gift.

Check out his blog when you get a chance.

We were absolutely ecstatic when we received the cd,

we popped it in the player

and we were all happy with the way we were captured

The portraits of the kids were true to their beings,

the way The Teenagers look at The Boy is pretty typical
and I loved it

Teen 2 hates to be hugged and loved,

this was perfect...

We even got a few of ourselves that we loved

Then these started to roll through the playlist

awww, how cute, we thought

until we looked closer at the boy's face -

the cheesy smile

and what's with the hands?

obviously this kid is just too cool,

and we just had no idea...

lean back

seriously? akward...

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Uncle Sam I Am Wants You!

As I’m driving The Boy to school this morning,
He begins to explain to me how the morning will proceed.
Mom, when you drop me off at school, you go in daycare and vote
You vote for the California Gobener Mom, he continues.
I know his school is a polling place,
but I do my best to explain to him that I vote at a different school.
We’re rushing through our routine and he takes my explanation for what it is.

At the end of the day, I pick him up from school and tell him we’re going to vote.
He’s pouting a little because I just shot down his request of going to the skate park.
After about 30 seconds of silence, he begins to ask me
Mom, why do people need safety vests?
To keep you safe son, I answer.
To keep you away from the fish and the creatures, he continues.
A life vest. Yes, I explain, it keeps you from drowning in the water.
Are we going to be in the sea or the ocean, he asks.
Son, what do you mean? I’m very confused at this point.
Then the puzzle comes together…
Life vest,
Creatures and fish,
Sea or ocean.
Son, I try to hold back my laughter, we’re going to VVOTTTTTE
I try to emphasize the difference in letters.
We’re not gonna float.
We’re not going on a boat.
We’re going to VOTE!

Float? He asks
Boat? He says.

No, VOTE!
I do my best with a Kindergarten analogy.
Let’s say your teacher is going to choose a line leader.
She says who wants to be a line leader?
And you and Jacob choose to be one.
The teacher will then ask all the other kids, who wants The Boy to be a line leader.
5 kids in class raise their hand for you.
Then she asks again, who wants Jacob to be the line leader.
3 kids in the class raise their hand for Jacob.
(He’s my son, I had to make him the winner obviously)
So you would win Son.
That’s what voting means.
We’re choosing who we want to win.

Silence, I’m so proud of myself for such a great explanation.
I’m thinking, he gets it, as I continue to snicker to myself.

We make a right turn into our tract
And then I hear.

Are we going in a sea or an ocean?

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

The first day...

It finally came,

after a long fun filled summer

The Boy's first day of Kindergarten

He worked hard preparing lunch for himself and his Daddy

As he was getting dressed the next morning, the Benjamin Button in him returned

He tried to coherse me into helping him get dressed.

Son, you're gonna be 5 years old, you're going into Kindergarten.

You need to dress yourself, I explained.

I know Mom, I'm not a man anymore he replied.

I was a bit perplexed.

No, son, you're not a man anymore!

He accomplished the task and we moved on to fixing his shark hair.

He LOVES his shark hair.

I was a bit worried it would be too much for a Kindergarten

but seeing that he was once a man that has grown into a boy

I figured it should be ok.

But by the time we picked him up from school

he had moved on to his hat.

He ripped off his uniform shirt and was ready to go home.

I couldn't believe this little man, ahem, I mean boy.

After school he got to pick a special treat.

When the girls started kindergarten,

I baked a school theme cake and it was ready and waiting for them when they got home.

So yes, I felt LAME this year.

but Daddy came through and found every school theme cookie they had in the store.

We ended the day with a trip to the skate park.

I created a monster taking this kid to the skate park.

Now every chance he gets, he begs to go.

How could I resist, my boy that was once a man, will soon be a real man.

I must relish in the moments.

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

You think you’re cooler than me

When your kids are young, they adore everything you do.
There’s nothing you can do that doesn’t make them laugh.
They accept all your hugs and kisses.
They hold your hand as you walk through the store
(unless they’re hiding from you in the clothes racks…
Ugghh, I hate when he does that!!)

The Boy is on the cusp of turning 5 and he already won’t kiss me at daycare.

Now, they all look at me like I’m some kind of freak when I sing along to their songs!
Sorry girls, but you used to think I was Mariah fricken Carey!

Today The Girls called me at work with the radio blaring in the background
Mom, do you like Pitbull?
Why, I ask (they’re always some ulterior motive with teenagers)
You’re gonna make fun of me aren’t you? I ask with hesitation.
No, we’re not.
Yes, I do. I admit proudly.
I could hear the snicker in Teen 1’s voice.
Yeah, Teen 2 said you probably knew all the words to this song!, she says.

Whatever!! So what, your mama still likes to shake her booty when she hears music!!
Next time, I will learn all the words and rap along with him!

Then there’s the days that they call me to say they’re going on a bike ride.
You better not ride MY bike! I remind them each time.

M O M!!
N O O N E wants to ride your bike!

What?!
Seriously, I have
The COOLEST bike in the whole house!
What do they mean?!

I mean seriously, look at this thing. People look at me with envy in their eyes when they see me riding this sweet piece of machinery down the street!

There are times when I walk into their room to check myself out in the mirror
Only to realize that we’re pretty much wearing the same outfit!

Ha, you think you’re cooler then me…
You dress just like me?!

I won’t mention that this is MY hat she’s wearing!

It's probably because you think you're cooler than me!

*wink* love you girls

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

If You Give The Boy a Water Balloon

He'll want you to throw it at him.

And if you have an arm like mine,

you'll miss and it'll pop on the grass.

He'll be sad and you'll promise to soak him with water on Saturday morning.

Saturday morning will come, but you won't want to put clothes on to go in the front yard.

You'll send The Teenager in the front yard with The Boy

and instruct her to soak him with the water hose at 9:30.

You'll take The Boy to Target later that day and come accross more waterballoons.

You'll make more empty promises to have a water fight with him later that day.

It's Saturday, so you'll have to take him to a birthday party and by the time you get home,

you'll be too tired.

He'll talk you into calling his Auntie to tell her a story about a "special girl" he saw at Target

and explain to his Auntie that she needs to go to Target to teach her sign language.

Amidst the conversation, he'll invite her over for a Water Fight Party.

He'll then invite one cousin,

then another,

then his uncle,

he'll invite his grandma.

He'll set up a time for the party- After lunch he'll tell them.

They'll all ask him what his mommy is making for lunch.

After lunch, you'll try to explain!

Sunday morning, you'll buy MORE water balloons.

You'll text more cousins to let them know of the impending party.

You'll go from store to store to find a Slip N Slide at the end of August.

You'll have to talk your hubby out of buying the Giant Kingpin chair at Big 5.

Yes, you know it's cool, but it's $100 you exclaim!

One balloon

turns into buckets of balloons

Buckets of balloons turn into sleds full of balloons

AND water guns for all

Balloons and water guns

turn into slip n sliding on a hot August Summer day.

Freinds and neighbors join in on the fun.

Food is grilled and eaten because you know-

you simply can't have a party without food

Cousins get wet and messy,

they chill out and dry on a "Magic Carpet"

One balloon will turn into a lifetime of memories.

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Flowers = tears

Today is The Boy’s last day of preschool.
Amazing how time flies
And these little babies turn into real life human beings!

To mark the special occasion
I racked my brain as usual to try to come up with a perfect little gift.
I usually spend days fretting over it,
Wanting to get every teacher there something,
But staying within budget.
Then I wonder if my gifts are totally lame.
You read articles from teachers who are so tired of the same lame ol’ gifts!
Maybe they don’t word it that way, but I’m pretty sure that’s what they mean.

Oh geez, another teacher pin or pen…
Whooppeee…
Thanks kid!

Since there’s 5 classes and the kids graduate up into each one,
That was a lot of gift giving!

I can’t forget about the teacher in the 1st class that had to deal with his crying when he first started or clean and change him after a few accidents.

His 2nd teacher that was there to be stern with him when he tried to see just how much he could get away with in her class.

Or his last teacher that has taught him how to write every single one of his letters in the alphabet, all of his numbers, began math lessons, and of course prepared him for the next 12 years of the dreaded homework at the ripe age of 4!

I had grand ideas of buying each teacher a great gift
Or dinner
Or giftcard to their favorite store.
I also thought about making them pictures of The Boy,
but maybe only a mother loves their kid that much!

Last night I decided to keep it plain and simple.
I stopped at the store and bought bunches of sunflowers
Big, beautiful, full stem sunflowers

I broke out the craft box
And me and The Boy got down with the stamps,
Glue sticks, scissors, and ribbon.
I know his Daddy was so proud when he walked in
And saw his boy sitting there in an array of crafts!

He worked hard on his little cards.
Once he even spelled his name completely backwards
started at the last letter and made it to the first
but put it in the right order.
Pretty talented that little guy!
I should sign him up for America's Got Talent or something

We got to school this morning and he handed them to his teachers

one by one.
And guess what, each one of them had tears stream down their face

as I thanked them.

Sweet...

I think they liked them!

or maybe it's my Boy that they love *wink*
http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Mostly Wordless Wednesday...Edward vs Jacob

His middle name is Edward
we sometimes refer to him as Edward Cullen
(2 teenage sisters,remember?!)

His homework assignment-
draw a picture of yourself
This is him when he's being Edward Cullen
Yesterday when I dropped him off at school,
his teacher said, Good morning Jacob (which is not his name)
he grabbed a hold of my pantleg and hid behind it,
as he peeked out his teacher proceeded to tell me -
the day before, The Boy was Jacob.
He told her that I changed his name (whoops guess I shouldn't have joked about that)
She had to write Jacob on all his papers and refer to him that way all day.


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Mom, you better watch out…

The Boy says to me as he walks into the kitchen.
You better watch out, he continues,
for Chase, he makes in love with girls.

I’m standing over the stove looking at my little guy walk past me.
What Son, I ask.

He snatches a banana off of the counter,
turns around and as he’s walking out of the room I hear
Chase, he makes in love with girls Mom.
He has 3 girlfriends…Brooke, Ashley, and his voice drifts off as he enters the living room.

He casually walks back in the kitchen and asks
Mom, you don’t want to be his girlfriend do you?
Do you want to marry him?
He makes in love with girls,
And then the final warning complete with eye roll…
You better watch out Mom!
www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Breathe

Before you get all judgemental, I know, I know
He shouldn't be sleeping with us
He should be able to sleep on his own
Yada, yada, yada

In my defense, he slept on his own
from the day he came home from the hospital
til the day he learned that he could climb up and jump out of his crib

Since then, it's been a B A T T L E!!

And Mama's tired!

So we take turns putting him to sleep,
laying next to him,
he snuggles close,
grabs a hold of your hand,
he intertwines his fingers into mine,
and whispers in my ear "I love you Mommy".

But if I fall asleep in his bed,
I wake up sore and uncomfortable.
If he falls asleep in my bed,
I usually fall asleep too,
then I wake up with a foot in my side
and a finger up my nose.

So that's it!

I'm putting my foot down!

I've had enough of this.

He has to sleep on the floor of my room now!
(baby steps people)

Last night I tell The Boy it's bedtime.
He brushes his teeth,
we walk into my room,
and I begin to make his bed
right next to mine.
Folding up and laying out the extra soft blankie
He's looking at me with those sad eyes.
He gives me that pouty face that he's perfected.
Then he starts the heavy breathing, hhhhaaaaa

I look at him.
Don't even begin with your huffing and puffing, I tell him in my stearn voice.

What's huffing and puffing? he asks.

So I show him, the over-exaggerated huff
and the long very loud exhale...hhhaaaaa

If you start that huffing and puffing, I tell him, you can go sleep in your own room.

He looks up at me with his big eyes and then he lays his head down on his pillow.

I cover him up, turn off the lights, and walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me.
I begin my bedtime routine.
Brush my teeth,
Wash my face,
Get a glass of water,
then I tiptoe back into the dark bedroom,
very careful not to step on The Boy.

I hear a little whisper as I'm getting into bed...
Mommy?
Can I breathe now?


www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

1+ 5 = 6 Duh…

The Boy is assigned a homework packet
about once a week

Yes, in preschool.
Homework.

This month the focus is math.

His assignment began with tracing the numbers
in numerical order
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Then came fill in the blanks
in numerical order
1 2 3 4 5
What comes after 5? He asks
6.
I looked at him and could tell his little noggin was working hard.
His brows were scrunched.
One hand was on his head.
The other holding the pencil firmly
And I watched as he wrote his number 6

15

6, he says so satisfied with himself.

The number is 6 Son.

Yeah, 1 + 5 is 6.
I’m so not looking forward to spelling…

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