My name is Janelle, and I love to eat.I even tried those weight loss clinics with the pills- the ones that you don’t want to admit to taking
So I’ve gained some weight.
I’ve blamed my past surgery- it must be hormonal I say.
I’m happy with the way I am, I think to myself.
But when clothes are no longer fitting properly
Getting on the treadmill a few days a week.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
You're Up then You're Down
The B-12 Lipo shot that I was sure I was going to have an allergic reaction and die from.
I signed up for WW’s new program
I tasted the salty sweat as it dripped into my mouth
Until I saw 149.5
DO NOT TELL ME THAT I GAINED
I shower quickly, dry off and decide to try again.
(in my birthday suit again)
Excuse me?- 148 it confirms
I know that a 5 minute shower could not have let out 1.5 lbs.
I move the scale from its original position between 2 pieces of tile to a solid piece- 148 again
In disbelief- I try in a diamond shape setting accross 4 pieces of tile- 148
Place the scale back in its original spot-148
Well, that’s better.
I put my robe and make up on and decide to try for a 2nd opinion.
149.5 it screams to me
Are you F*&ing kidding me?! I yell back
I move the scale to the solid piece of tile-149.5
I tear my robe off, now I’m gonna beat the crap out of this scale
147.5 it coyly whispers to me as it flutters it’s eyelashes.
I don’t believe you, I say in return.
You’re moving to the solid tile- 147.5
Diagonal tile- 147.5
Original position between 2 tiles-147.5
Now you’re screwing with me.
I move her (by her indecisiveness, she’s clearly a woman)
I pick her up and get ready to throw her through a window
then I remember that we just put new windows in.
So onto the wooden floor in the hallway she goes
I storm out of the bathroom and decide that I never want to speak to her again.
Well that is until next week-
and all I'm saying is, she better be ready to act right.
These are the stories of our lives…