Confessions of a shopaholic...

My name is Janelle

and I'm a shopaholic! (what is this confession week?)

There I said it...

It's a problem that runs deep in the veins of my family, on both sides, if you can believe that!

My mother is a mini Imelda Marcos - she probably has at least 8 tubs of shoes in the garage (and she honestly donates her "older" ones every few months!!)

My father is a collector of ummm...hmmm....how can we put this lightly eclectic things, let's say! (a lifesize Elvis statue in the family room that changes his hat and accessories with the holidays, a plush moosehead hanging in the living room, the GEM car)

And when Grandpa came home to visit from the Phillipines, he bought the mail order nightvision goggles, listening devices, LIFE music cd's from the 50's - 70's!!

DEEP, I tell ya!

What makes the problem worse is that I'm a regretful shopper, very regretful shopper!

I would buy things, and as I'm paying, this feeling would just come over me...

anxiety - I just feel sick to my stomach! I would go home then go back to the store to return whatever I bought a few days later...

Now I just walk up and down the aisles, fill up my shopping cart and usually have emptied 3/4 of it before I get to check out. I've even been known to buy something at one side of the mall and then go back and return it before I hit the other side!

Bad, i tell ya'

But having 3 kids and a household to manage is alot to worry about when you're shopping!

Of course, there's the "fair is fair" business that you have to factor in. I have to be sure that I'm fairly shopping for the kids, I'm a middle child so of course I know how it feels to think one of your siblings is getting more than you!

Then the cheap girl in me makes it even worse! I could spend 2 weeks on the internet and driving from store to store to make sure I'm getting THE BEST deal ever!!

Gosh, now that I'm writing about it...it sounds pretty bad!

Well it gets even worse, because I become obsessed with whatever it is that I'm thinking about purchasing! It can be something as simple as a $10 purse or party decorations; I must be sure that I'm getting the best deal! And now school clothes for the kids, cause that is coming up soon!

So maybe if I spill some of my finds, I won't feel so guilty about shopping, right?!!

just agree with me...humor me if you will...

School starts for us in 3 weeks! aaahhhh! I have not bought 1 single item!

well that was until about 5 minutes ago...

I usually buy my girls "lots" of Abercrombie jeans on ebay before school starts (and no this is not because of the name, it's because they're so darn tiny that that's what's fits them best!) I'm fortunate enough that they wear the same size!

Their style is somewhat the same, the just do some tweeking and each outfit uniquely fits to their personality...pretty clever those girls are (they got it from their mama!)

This morning, low and behold, I receive the Old Navy circular in my email box and they were having a fantastic sale. Being that I was at work and "working" I didn't have time to check it out.

At 11:45 am preteen sends me a text: "Mom, jeans from oldnavy are only $10 this week you can save money if you buy them now. You can save about $10?(: "

Well isn't that sweet of her, looking out for her dear ol' Mom's wallet??!! (Actually I've trained them well, they know do not even come close to me with an item of clothing that you really really really want without knowing exactly how much it is gonna cost - and my favorite, oh, it's more than $10, nevermind!) I do feel bad sometimes, but with 3 kids, every dollar counts.

Well I did breakdown and buy them brand spankin new jeans from Old Navy.

I got all of these fabulous finds (when is the skinny jean trend going to be OVER??!!)

$11.00 &$12.50 ea

So they're getting 3 pairs each!


And since fair is fair, the boy got some too... ($11.00 ea)

8 pairs of jeans for $94.00

FREE shipping for orders over $50 just use coupon code: FREE50

Happy shopping people!

If I could just fini...

MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh yeah, ummm...finish my sentence.

Could you put that...

ughh...put that over there. Mom!!!

Bring me the...

What Mom? Bring you the what??

If you are guilty of this, you know exactly what I'm talking about

I'm a complete S P A C E R!!!
I make excuses for myself ; I'm too busy, I have alot on my mind, I can't remember everything.
I'm a great listener, but I'm probably not "listening" most of the time
I don't even listen to myself to make sure that I've completed my sentence

This weekend, I deemed the teenager my "Official Sentence Finisher"
what a prestigious title to carry, wouldn't you say?!

This has been going on for, well, probably longer than I'd like to admit.
I remember when I was younger,
my sister was telling me a story...and in the middle she says
"then these green aliens came down from the sky!"
I just looked at her with that strange puppy dog tilt to the head, Huh??!!
"You're not listening again, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention"

Last year at a convention (for my business), there was a speaker there who talked about

Being Present

Imagine that, would ya'
To actually be present in the moment that you are in.

Now mind you, I did hear this about a year and a half ago, and it's slowly sinking in
But it is sinkin' in none the less

Being present would mean....
paying attention to what my kids are saying, I mean really listen - find out who has a crush on who, what this girls friend said to that boy, that she thinks her teacher hates her one day and has a crush on her the next (yes I was listening!!)

Ride bikes after dinner and feel the summer sun and the wind in our hair

Get down on the floor with the boy and play with his motorcycles
Read his book and make all those funny voices and faces

Dance and sing along in the car (oh well, you already know that story) that I can do without a problem!

Listen to stories about the biker boyz and act interested ahem, I mean, yes, I'm really intersted

I'm working on it...

"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention... A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words."-Rachel NaomiNemen
"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. - Barbara Bush

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

I got it from my Mama

Truth be told, I can't lie

I'm terrible at it

My mind starts going a mile a minute

trying to think of what I'm gonna say

I worry that someone might catch me in my lie

My heart races

I probably stutter

start this uncontrolable giggle

my eyes shift back and forth

I break out in the sweats

just terrible

Well wouldn't you know it...

The teenager who was born on my birthday

and has her mama's personality

has the same problem...

(doesn't she just looked thrilled to be taking this photo?!)

Alot of the times she doesn't even have to start speaking

we can tell by the look on her face or by the way the words are coming out of her mouth that it's not the truth!

She's come to learn that she has this trait and will usually stray away from even beginning to speak!

It's quite funny!

(honestly folks you don't realize what a skill you have received)

Just yesterday, we found out that yet another one of the youngin's has been handed down the dreaded curse of "I cannot tell a lie"!!!

But first let me backtrack a few days...

Swim class was fast approaching for the little dude and duddette in our life

My boy is 3, and his cousin is 4

The swim class we want them to take starts at 4 years old, this is the only swim class that would work for my schedule and we want them to be together

So I go back and forth trying to decide if I should put him in the 3 year old class

He's already taken a full summer of swim classes last year so has some of the basic skills

So I decide I'm gonna try to pass him as 4

As I'm driving to sign him up...my mind begins

What am I gonna say if they ask?

Will they ask for a birth certificate?

What date calculates to make him 4 years old already?

What if they ask him?

I can't possibly take him with me...he talks too much!

Well I get there and all I have to do is fill out a spot on a postcard that says "Age:____"

wheh...that was easy, all that fussing for nothing!

Ok, fast foward to yesterday...

The first day of swim class! whoohoo!

I pick him up from school and as we're riding home,

I tell him, "Son, if the teacher asks, tell her you're 4"

I look at him in the rearview mirror and he has this look of horror and confusion on his face

"But why Mom, I'm still 3 only"

"My birthday's not here yet"

Ugghhh...the curse!

"I know son, but you will be 4 next month"

Oh nevermind!

So we go home to change into his swim gear.

He says a quick hello to his daddy.

We hop back in the car to head to class and the questions begin?

"Mom, how old is Kaia?"

"Mom, am I gonna be 4 after swim class?"

I text my hubby, your son can't lie, I told him to say he's 4!

He replies, yes, I know, he already told me the story!

(we were only home for 3 minutes, how could he possibly?!!)

Aaaaahhhhh, I shoulda' never said anything he's gonna give it away!!

They're gonna kick us out of class, in front of everyone!!

My mind is racing again, my heart is pounding!

We get to class and they just put the kids in the water

No checking names, no checking in, no asking questions

whehhh...what a relief

As class is closing, the teachers go around asking the kids

What was your favorite part of the day?

Then one teacher asks her side of the swim class...

What's your name and your favorite color?

The kids take turns answering...

The teacher on my boy's side of the class asks..

What's your age??!!! and your favorite color?

Oh no, we're done!!

heart's racing, I can't even look!

Sure enough...

I'm 3!!

my favorite color is red...

he get's it from his mama!

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Life Changing...Teen Pregnancy

Sandy at One day at a Time hosts Tell Me About It Thursday. I read about it too late, but after reading the topic, I just kept thinking about it over and over...so I'm a few days late but here it is...

The topic today is: An event that changed your life

Well that's an easy one for me - getting pregnant at just 14 years old.

When I first thought about this topic I thought, well this'll be easy. But as the days past I just thought about every aspect of my life that is touched because of this.

Being a teen mom is not easy, obviously.

But unless you've lived it, you absolutely no idea just how hard it is.

Let me start by saying that I came from a good home. We went to church every Wednesday and Sunday, I went to school everyday, and mainted a good grade average.

But I was a teenager, a teenager who was much more mature than I should've been

(I always joke that I'm actually 10 yrs older than my real age).

A teenager who was "in love" and was determined to do what I wanted to do no matter what anyone said or did.

Obviously my parents were heartbroken and very upset. But my 14 year old brain couldn't process the life changes that I was about to go thru...

Judgment

When you're a teen mom, people believe that they know what's going on in your life and that they have the right to judge you.

Once when I was pregnant as I was walking into a store; the solictor outside asked how old I was. I replied ,14. He said, If I was your father, I would woop your ass.

Well thank god you're not my father, thank god my father has taught me better than to speak to someone with such disrespect.

Another time I was at the laundry mat folding my daughters clothes and a man walked up to me and said, Why didn't you give her up? Excuse me, I asked?

He said, why didn't you give her up for adoption?

Really, are you serious, you think you have the right to ask me that?!

I just chose to ignore his ignorance...

My prenatal care nurses told me I would be obese while I was a whopping 120 lbs.

Again another adult choosing to say anything they wish to scare me.

That is the kind of judgement and verbal harrasment that most teen parents have to deal with.

Now I'm not trying to be an advocate for teen parents,

but more of an advocate for not judging people.

This turned me into a bit of an introvert because I always felt like people were judging me.

Determination

But this also made me a more determined person.

I was determined to prove everyone wrong and show them that I wasn't this loser kid that got pregnant.

I became, what felt like, a full blow adult when I had my daughter on my 15th birthday

(oh yeah labor from 4am to 11:50pm, Happy Birthday to you!!)

I gave up my friends and hanging out for my baby and motherhood.

At 16, I had graduated high school, moved out to my own apt,

working full time, and part time college.

At 17, I had my second daughter.

By 20, I was married, bought my first home, had a brand new car,

and was financially making what people twice my age were making.

However by the age of 24, I was divorced, selling my 2nd home and had filed bankruptcy.

(I told you 10 years older than my real age!)

Realization

As I got older I realized alot of the things I had done out of determination to...

#1 Prove that I could be a good mom - this is a constant work in progress

#2 Prove everyone wrong - not always such a good reason to do things. I realized that I did things for other people, not for myself.

#3 Prove to myself that I was strong and capable enough to handle the life that I had created for myself.

I realized that I had given up a lot to become this parent at 15 years old. That I had missed out on alot of life because I was already a parent, because I was always wanting to prove something, prove someone wrong.

I don't think that I really truly believed that having my kids so young was such a big deal until my oldest daughter turned 14. That's when the reality of it hit me, when I stopped to actually understand the life of a teenager, when I could understand the heartbreak and dissapointment that my parents must've felt...

She is now 15 1/2 and my 2nd daughter is coming up on 13, and let me tell you, this has been THE most stressful, anxiety filled year of my life. Not because they're bad kids, they're typical teenagers. But because I realize how much I missed out on and do not want that for them.

I love my girls to death and honestly wouldn't change a thing, but I want so much more for them. I want them to experience life as a teenager. Go to school dances, experience dating, keep their high school friends through the years, just enjoy living. Enjoying being young.

I'm stressed beyond words hoping that I've raised them well and am leading them in the right direction. Working on keeping communication open but still being the mom, not just their friend. And of course the sensitive subject of talking to your kids about how hard life is without making them feel like they were the cause of it. We live well now, but I dont want them to not understand where we came from and what we've gone through.

This keeps me up at night, hence my insomnia!

This post became longer than I thought and not sure if I could pinpoint just the thing that changed in my life. Maybe it's just been more of a therapy session for me to actually have to go back and think about these things.

ME

By my life experience overall is much different than most people would assume.

I am who I am because of it.

Now I'm able to enjoy things in life for myself and my family and am not doing it out of determination to prove someone wrong.

I try my best not to judge someone at first glance because I've been judged and looked down upon. I have no idea what's going on in their life.

I married a great man and I've learned to lighten up and not always be in control, it's a partnership...(right honey?!!)

I had my son at 27 and am doing my best to enjoy every second of it because I know how quickly they grow.

I'm trying to do the best job raising these teenage girls with all my love and compassion.

Note to self...

Next time the nail lady is insulting your facial hair...

DO NOT give in!!

Rash 'stache is not HOT!
And it's certainly not any cuter than rockin' the natural look.

As I'm sitting there trying to relax and get my massage on
(because now you can't just get a regular chair pedicure)
S
he keeps looking at me and asking, do you do yo' own eyebrow?

Yes, I say, very proudly.

Oooohh, let me fix it!
I fix it real nice
very fast
magic touch
it don't hurt

Well the endorphines must've kicked in after getting that back massage (from the chair)
and getting suckered into the extra $5 for extra scrub and massage on foot and leg
So I was scurried into the "waxing room"

I fix for you!
Look now, as she hands me the mirror after doing one brow
look before and after
I do better job, right?!
Well the lighting is bad, my eyebrows hurt,
ummm...yeah, you do better job! (i had to admit)


Then she proceeds to touch my upper lip
Oooohhhh...you hairy!
I clean up for you.
Ugghhh...yeah, I know I've been seeing that in the mirror lately, ok you fix
O U C H!!!!!!!!

Now here it is 4 days later
and I have rash 'stache

NEVER again

The search is over...for now

So ever since I started this blog, I've been looking for the perfect layout
Of course, I will never be satisified with anything that I find and if I was,
I'd want to change it after I viewed it a few times

Well I'm married to a graphic designer, so who do you think designs all the inviations for
the countless parties we throw, the gift certificates (otherwise known as IOU's)
for birthday presents (heehee), and ummm...just about all other things of that sort?

Ahem, well that would be M E!!
You see we have learned after working on a few projects together that-
he has gone to school for this so he knows how to do it right,
doesn't take shortcuts to "just make it work" or believe in " that's good enough!!!"

I on the other hand will get frustrated enough and become satisfied with my creation
I can trick myself into believing I'm fabulous!

Well my dream blog layout was to make it look like a tv screen,
I mean after all this is "Days of Five Lives"
It's only appropriate

Well after I was told, yeah, sure, uh huh, I can help, I knew what that meant!

So off I went and read blog after blog about how I could create my own template
Problem is I couldn't find the photos I wanted to use or that I could manipulate
(for free anyway, because I'm cheap!)

And after finding this new blog template that you're viewing
I tried downloading it for about a week, but kept coming across this XML error
I tried unzipping, downloading, extracting
all to no avail

Hubby even got on my computer after I was trying to figure it out, and the computer started
freakin out on him...I was sure I had ruined my computer (I hope he doesn't read this post!)

Then tonight, in frustration, I said, how do you extract XML??
He began to babble some technical jargon that I couldn't understand and walked off

After about an hour, in frustration and sighs, the question came out again
He sorta looked, rolled his eyes with that look of are you really asking me again?
(you know those computer guys never want to have to explain it twice!)

So I said, oh nevermind...but I'm a stubborn girl, I was determined to figure this out

After more frustration, more pointing clicking, zipping, unzippin, right click
google search : how to extract XML data
more right click, aaahhhhaaahhhhh!!! i figured it out!!!!!

whehh...
so
here
it
is

enjoy the new view!
it might not be around for long...

oh and no, those aren't my pictures hanging from the clothesline, but that's a whole other lesson!


www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Perfect Sunday Supper Sangria and Ceviche

(excuse my stained place mat!)