Wednesday, September 11, 2013

You're Up then You're Down

My name is Janelle, and I love to eat.

So I’ve gained some weight.
I’ve blamed my past surgery- it must be hormonal I say.
I also try to convince myself that I don’t care,
I’m happy with the way I am, I think to myself.
But when clothes are no longer fitting properly
and my muffin top has now become a cupcake with extra topping
I realize that I’m kidding yourself.

I try eating right again.
Getting on the treadmill a few days a week.
I even tried those weight loss clinics with the pills- the ones that you don’t want to admit to taking
The B-12 Lipo shot that I was sure I was going to have an allergic reaction and die from.
I even tried the lemonade diet. All gung ho that I would last 10 days on just that concoction alone.
Well that lasted about 2.5 hours before I gave in
I realized that I need to make the life style change again.
With a food deprived body-
I signed up for WW’s new program

I’ve learned from past experience that unfortunately
I am not one of those girls who can cut their calorie intake and lose weight.
I’m the kinda girl that has to cut her intake AND

So over the past 5 weeks, I’ve tracked.
I’ve controlled myself.
I’ve past up on drinks, which is very difficult for this lush.

Through the week of my daughter’s wedding- I lost
Through the week of vacation, I gained, thankfully it was only .5 lbs
Through the week of Beer Olympics & Memorial day- I actually lost 3 lbs

So this past week, I just know that I’ve done well.
There were 2 days that I actually had 2 points remaining
I’ve pushed myself to work out longer and harder- Every. Single. Day.
I mean yesterday I had sweat roll into my eyeball and sting me
I tasted the salty sweat as it dripped into my mouth
I worked my ass off

I was feeling good when I stepped on the scale this morning
(in my birthday suit)
Until I saw 149.5
What?! I think to myself. I was 148.5 last week.
I step off, then back on- 149.5
I step off, then back on- 149.5 glares at me.


Thoughts of quitting go through my head.
All of the cupcakes, cookies
Bottles of beer, & glasses of sangria that I’ve declined flash before my eyes.

I shower quickly, dry off and decide to try again.
(in my birthday suit again)
Excuse me?- 148 it confirms
I know that a 5 minute shower could not have let out 1.5 lbs.
I move the scale from its original position between 2 pieces of tile to a solid piece- 148 again
In disbelief- I try in a diamond shape setting accross 4 pieces of tile- 148
Place the scale back in its original spot-148

Well, that’s better.

I put my robe and make up on and decide to try for a 2nd opinion.
149.5 it screams to me
Are you F*&ing kidding me?! I yell back
I move the scale to the solid piece of tile-149.5

I tear my robe off, now I’m gonna beat the crap out of this scale
147.5 it coyly whispers to me as it flutters it’s eyelashes.
I don’t believe you, I say in return.
You’re moving to the solid tile- 147.5
Diagonal tile- 147.5
Original position between 2 tiles-147.5

Now you’re screwing with me.

I move her (by her indecisiveness, she’s clearly a woman)
I pick her up and get ready to throw her through a window
then I remember that we just put new windows in.
So onto the wooden floor in the hallway she goes

I storm out of the bathroom and decide that I never want to speak to her again.

Well that is until next week-
and all I'm saying is, she better be ready to act right.

1 comment:

mommaruthsays said...

Try not to beat yourself up if you can help it -- weight is just a number, and it's all about how you feel on the inside. If you're unhappy and feel uncomfortable in your body, then make changes to reintroduce yourself to yourself and find the love again -- but don't let the number on that (obviously faulty) scale get you down! You're fabulous just as you are!

Follow along through the fun and agony as we try to figure out how to raise two completely opposite teenagers- Teen 1, the fiesty yet inquisitive one, Teen 2 quiet but wise-cracking and our ball full of energy known as The Boy. It aint always pretty, but we’ll sure try to make the best of it!
These are the stories of our lives…