It Takes a Bush

Our family tree is not grown perfectly upright

with all its branches and leaves pruned just right
where the green grass grows all around and around…
where the green grows all around

We’re better compared to a bush

As my Stepmom’s husband
(who, just to clarify, is not my Dad)
would say.

And our bush has been growing wildly.

Hence my absence.

Teen 1 has since grown all up-
graduated, married, had a beautiful baby boy, and moved out
(not particularly in that order, but hey, that’s how we do)

Teen 2 is now a senior- Yikes. That’s all I can say about that.
She has a job, earned enough credits early to have minimum days at school, and is deciding what to do when she grows up

And our rambunctious little toddler is now a full grown boy.

Raising teenagers is no walk in the park.
It’s been beyond challenging.
I know I was no angel, if you recall this blog-http://daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/2009/07/life-changingteen-pregnancy.html
this was a doozy on my parents.

I often talk to my parents and tell them I don’t know how they dealt with it.
How do you deal with a teenage pregnancy, knowing yourself how hard it is.
Knowing the discrimination your child will go through.
How do you deal with your child raising their own child in your home.

I’ve also been that mom that’s gone into a house party at midnight to search for my daughter, grabbed a hold of her, and yelled at anyone & everyone in my way.

And probably would’ve beaten the living crap out of her if I knew they weren’t watching.

It’s
Been
ROUGH
to say the least.

But life is challenging.

I’m sure I’m not alone- even though I felt as though I was
Many times throwing my hands up in the air and giving up
Wanting to quit the roll of being the mom

But with the help of my husband and all the branches of our bush

We survived.

We’ve come out better people.
Things have calmed down (knock on wood)
Everyone has branched out into their own person
Although I know it will change
They will change
We will grow more branches
Which will produce more little leaves

Colors will change with the seasons
We will continue to love and nurture the bush
And we will all be there to support one another
We hope you follow along as we grow
Janelle

Moments of Serenity

I despise homework

My fourth grade teacher helped to solidify my disdain
I already had a dislike for it
Mr. O’Mally didn’t believe in it. Period.
He told us so
In fourth grade
My little brain attached to that concept
He was smart, he was a teacher
He dressed up as a leprechaun for St. Patrick’s Day for goodness sake
He taught us how to construct wooden napkin holders with real saws and workhorses
He taught us how to build rockets that actually flew through the air
From that year on, I didn’t believe in homework either


As life would have it, I would end up with 3 kids of my own
3 kids that would obviously go to school
3 kids that would have homework
The thought of their homework makes me irritable
I try, they try
I get frustrated, they get frustrated
I explain, they roll their eyes
I instruct, they complain

I curse you Mr. O'Mally *shakes fist in the air*

Thankfully the teenagers are in high school
and I’m pretty clueless so they hardly ask for help
The Boy has started doing his homework at daycare

Wheh…

Until yesterday,
Teen 2 was at the dining room table working on her homework when I stepped foot in the door
The Boy had completed some pages at school,
but I told him to sit down and study his spelling words and math
Teen 1 must’ve felt the homework bug in the air and came out of her cave bedroom
to inform me that she needed help with her school assignment, a resume
So here they are, all 3 of them
At the table, looking at me for guidance to do their homework

I tried to remain calm

The Boy complained that I didn’t pronounce the word “hand” correctly as I quizzed him.
Mom, You said had, you tricked me
Seriously, kid? H A N D …geez!!

Teen 1 tried to reel me in,
Mom, I want to be a photographer because they I won't have a boss
You’re gonna be 18 in how many days? I’m thinking
The thought of her being an adults absolutely terrifies me.
I inform her, that she will indeed have a boss
and her customers will most certainly be in that category
Teen 2 and The Boy push each other’s papers at each other
Sighing and glaring at each other with irritation.

The Hubs knowing to stay clear of the warzone and offers to cut up ingredients for dinner

But for just a minute, one solitary moment
There it was
Peace
As they all followed directions
As they all sat there doing their homework
Teen 1 asking and accepting my answers
The Boy re-writing words that he needed to study
And Teen 2, just knowing what to do
Relief

I exhaled, serenity, I thought to myself

MOM!!!!!

Even if just for a moment…



http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

You think you’re cooler than me

When your kids are young, they adore everything you do.
There’s nothing you can do that doesn’t make them laugh.
They accept all your hugs and kisses.
They hold your hand as you walk through the store
(unless they’re hiding from you in the clothes racks…
Ugghh, I hate when he does that!!)

The Boy is on the cusp of turning 5 and he already won’t kiss me at daycare.

Now, they all look at me like I’m some kind of freak when I sing along to their songs!
Sorry girls, but you used to think I was Mariah fricken Carey!

Today The Girls called me at work with the radio blaring in the background
Mom, do you like Pitbull?
Why, I ask (they’re always some ulterior motive with teenagers)
You’re gonna make fun of me aren’t you? I ask with hesitation.
No, we’re not.
Yes, I do. I admit proudly.
I could hear the snicker in Teen 1’s voice.
Yeah, Teen 2 said you probably knew all the words to this song!, she says.

Whatever!! So what, your mama still likes to shake her booty when she hears music!!
Next time, I will learn all the words and rap along with him!

Then there’s the days that they call me to say they’re going on a bike ride.
You better not ride MY bike! I remind them each time.

M O M!!
N O O N E wants to ride your bike!

What?!
Seriously, I have
The COOLEST bike in the whole house!
What do they mean?!

I mean seriously, look at this thing. People look at me with envy in their eyes when they see me riding this sweet piece of machinery down the street!

There are times when I walk into their room to check myself out in the mirror
Only to realize that we’re pretty much wearing the same outfit!

Ha, you think you’re cooler then me…
You dress just like me?!

I won’t mention that this is MY hat she’s wearing!

It's probably because you think you're cooler than me!

*wink* love you girls

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Confessions of a shopaholic...Hook, Line, Sucker

Teen 2’s school is no longer having Jr. High promotion ceremonies.
Instead they chose to have a dance for all 8th grade students to celebrate the end of the year.

Teen 2 said it was going to be a formal dress, but seriously, in Jr. High, it was so not!

She surprised me by telling me she was going to wear a summer dress that she had scrunched up at the bottom of her hamper hanging in her closet.
Great, I thought, no dress shopping for me.

This girl is impossible to shop with. She doesn’t care for anything I show her.
Always finds the most expensive items on the rack and of course it’s always “the only thing I like here!”
We could walk the mall for hours and walk out with NOTHING.

Now I do this by myself for leisure, but because I enjoy it.
When I’m actually trying to find something for her and it’s not happening, it’s extremely frustrating!

So in true teenage girl fashion, a few nights before the dance-
She NEEDS a cardigan to go over her dress so she doesn’t get kicked out for not following proper dress code.
AND
She NEEDS a pair of sandals to wear, because even though I just bought her a pair of flats the weekend prior, they did not go with the dress.

On Sunday night we head to the local mall and I have the girls run inside to a shoe store that she was SURE had shoes for her.
2 minutes later, Teen 1 calls, Mom, the store isn’t here.
The girls get back in the car and we drive to the other side of the mall(the boy was asleep and I didn’t bring a stroller in case you’re wondering why my lazy ass didn’t walk!)
They run inside, that store is gone!
What the heck is going on here?! I wonder.
So I wake up The Boy and we spend an hour walking up and down the mall going in and out of every shoe store, to no avail. There is NOTHING there that she likes.
“I’m just gonna wear some shoes I already have” she says.

Ok, fine, great. I’m thinking.

However the next day the mommy guilt sinks in.
I think back to my 8th grade graduation ceremony. Mom’s favorite shopping spot was the alleys in L.A. You could get great deals, but not always the best of quality and not always age appropriate article of clothing for pre-teens.
I ended up with a skin tight spandex type green dress with shoulder cut outs and all (it was the early 90’s people)
To top it off, my body was banging, I must admit!
Yes, I do remind my kids I was voted Best Body back in the day!
I already had a womanly shape and a J Lo booty in the making.
When I got to school that day, I realized just how inappropriate my dress was.
All the other girls were dressed in their spring colored frilly dresses
With stockings and their flat dress shoes.
I on the other hand looked like a hooker in my spandex dress and black pumps.
Wow, I think I’m still traumatized!
Ahem, I must digress.

I wanted Teen 2 to have the outfit she longed for and would remember for the rest of her life(in a good way))

The next day I tell her to get ready because we’re going to the mall after I get off of work.

We walk into the mall and I tell her,
If you don’t like that dress or want something else, tell me now.
Her eyes light up and we walk into a store that they just opened up.

She finds a romper and 3 different dresses to try on.
She comes out of the dressing room each time and doesn’t like anything
Except the Green Romper.
It’s linen and it’s shorts.
Not exactly what I’d call formal.
I know all the other girls will be wearing dresses.
I ask and warn her, Are you sure? You won’t feel uncomfortable?
I won’t, I want it, she pleads!

Problem is, this item is strapless so we still need a cardigan.

We search the store aisle by aisle, row by row.
NOTHING
No cardigan that will match or look right.

I tell her if we don’t find a cardigan, I’m not buying it.
We can’t return at this store and if nothing looks right, you’re stuck with it.
She doesn’t see the problem.
But I know she’ll find something else that she’ll like better.

So we walk out of that store.
By this time The Boy is whining, running up and down the aisles,
slumping over in the dressing room, tugging on my leg, and reminding me that he’s starving.

The Boy and I go to the food court and I order us some dinner
Teen 2 on the other hand is going into every store in the mall
She calls, I’m at Charolette Russe,
I’m at Forever 21,
I’m at Foreign Exchange,
I’m going to Bloom.

We meet up 2 hours later,
Yes 2 hours later.

NOTHING!

I break down,
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!
Don’t be scared ( I remember I can be beastly)
Just ask!
(for the love of all things holy, I just want to leave this place!)

She looks at me with some intimidation.
I want the romper, she mumbles.

Ugghhh…I broke down.
Ok, let’s go get the romper.

We walk back to the original store that we started at 2 hours ago.
We find the romper, a necklace to glam it up,
And could you believe it, a fricken cardigan to match!
I swipe my credit card and we head home.

As usual when we get home, I tell her to try it all on with some shoes so we can see the whole look.

I give her a few minutes and I walk back in her room.
I take a look at her
We look at each other.
It’s too casual we say in unison.

I think I’m gonna wear the dress, she says.
I can wear this on the last day of school Mom, because there’s a bonfire after school.

And then I realize it.

SUCKER!!
http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Motherly love...

Tonight I came home from work
and slaved over the stove
to turn Sunday’s leftover steak
into Tuesday’s Tantalizing fajita feast.

To even further please my loving family
I decide to make them strawberry shortcakes for dessert.

Seriously, how much better can you do, right?!

The Boy comes over as I’m starting to prepare
He climbs up on the step stool next to me and asks
How do you know how to make strawberry shortcakes?

Because, I reply, I’m a Mom.
All moms know how to make strawberry shortcakes.

Oh, does Sandra know how to make strawberry shortcakes?, he asks.

(You see The Boy loves his Sandra,
she was his babysitter from the time he was 4 months old to 3 yrs old
she reigns supreme in his mind)

Yes Son, I’m sure she knows how to make them.

Then I ask
(because surely he must’ve lost some lover for her,
it’s been a year and a half since he’s been gone
from her daily life)
Who’s your number 1 Mommy, Me or Sandra?

Sandra! he quickly replies with a shoulder shrug

Teen 2’s standing right there with her jaw dropped open
Wow! she starts, How does that make you feel?

Then she continues to further dig the knife in…
Does it make you feel unaccomplished as a mother?

Sheesh...they'll appreciate me eventually right?!!


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Today was a good day...

The girls are on spring break this week

Teen 2 texts me on Wed and asked if she could go to the beach Thurs.
We had our usual back and forth questioning?
Who’s going?
She quickly rambled off 10 kids
5 girls
5 BOYS
How are you getting there?
The bus

Hmmm…my instincts are kicking in
And I ask for half the day off

I prepare my bags the night before
And ask the girls to make sandwiches
And pack snacks for the beach

How embarrassing…Teen 2 replies
Then don’t eat my food when we get there!

These girls are so funny-
They curl their hair
Put on their make up
Find the right outfit

We’re going to the beach right?!

I pull up to the beautiful sunny beach
with 4 teen girls
And one 4 year old boy in tow

We find our spot in the sand and I’m getting the look…
Are you staying with us Mom? She asks
Ummm…I was, I replied.
But I get it.
She wants me out of sight.

So I plop down the cooler and snacks
And leave the girls in position
The Boy and I settle down closer to the water

I text hubby…I think she’s embarrassed of me!

The Boy wants to get in the water
So we tiptoe in
It’s freezing, oh yeah, it’s only April
He teases the waves as he runs back and forth with the water

The girls meet up with their boy friends
And head back to “their” spot

I turn around and look back every so often to watch them from the distance
And just giggle to myself that she’s at that age
That stage where everything about your parents is so embarrassing

Eventually she comes over with her friends
And they take The Boy into their little click
They bring him into the water
They jump with him
Swing him around

I stand in the distance with my camera
To forever capture these moments

Eventually I get to move in closer

The Boy is now one of their friends.
Here’s proof, he got to tattoo one of her friends
About just how cool he is!

They play football,
Go back in the water,
Boys boogie board
The girls tan

We stay and play for about 3 ½ hours
I'm able to convince them to take a group shot before we leave.

We get home and the girls ask if they can go to a bonfire at a friends.

They begin the routine again,
The hair,
The make up,
The outfits

By 7:40 Teen 1 and Teen 2 leave together
The Boy and I sit at the kitchen table
And watch as 5 teenage girls rush out of the house
They wave good bye

He turns to me and ask for a 2nd serving of Salmon
And an apple for his side.

I sigh…
And am thankful

Today was a good day.

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Think, think, think...

"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out"
-Michael Burke

As those little girls of ours are growing into young ladies,
they must go through the dreaded teenage years.

They will test their boundaries,
Talk back,
Argue,
Debate,
Try to sneak around,
Fail tests,
Fail to do homework,
Blame it on the teachers,
Fight with friends,
Break up with boyfriends,
Get caught doing things that they know they shouldn’t be doing…

We will talk,
Argue,
Debate,
Punish,
talk,
talk,
talk,
hug and kiss,
and tell them we love them
even if they did make stupid decisions

We will have to understand that we cannot be the perfect parents
We will not be their friends
We are there to guide them
And teach them
And sometimes we can’t catch them when they fall
But we’ll be there to pick them up and dust them off

We will remind them to go with their instincts,
Because they’re probably right from the beginning…

We will also remind them as I did the other night,
That I love them,
But they need to think of me
“The Beast”
In their face
Before they make a bad move!


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Beauty or The Beast

This past Sunday afternoon, I warn the Teenagers -
I’m leaving for Forever 21 in 10 minutes.
So if you wanna join me, you better be ready.

I did mention, it was already the afternoon – they should have already been ready!

So my 10 minute warning turns into an actual 15 minutes
Which prompts me to a yell out a 2 minute warning,
of course, this naturally means 10.
They know the routine.
We go through this every morning as I threaten to leave them!

We pull up to the mall parking lot after our 15 minute drive.
Teen 2 still needs to change into the extra outfit
that she grabbed as we ran out of the door
because what she was wearing apparently wasn’t “Mall Material”.
I run inside and tell them to meet me when they’re ready.

I meet up with my sister who’s looking for some new winter gear
then The Teenagers join us.
They already have a scowl on their faces and the slump in their back.

Don’t just stand next to me, I say, go look for something.
Well can we get anything? They ask.
Yes, you’ve got $15 ea. Go find something.

And we part ways.

I run into The Teenagers 5 more times while in this brand new two-story shopaholics dream/nightmare of a store while the music is blaring(am I getting old?!)

Each time I see them, the same scowl, the same slump.

What have they found?

NOTHING, they’ve found nothing.

I on the other hand have scored a deal,
so I pay for my cute new dress and we leave the store.

I give them another opportunity,
would you like to go somewhere else I ask as they text away.
I must’ve been in a giving patient mood.

So Teen 2 wants to go into Charlette Russe.
We circle the sale racks, try clothes on, I up my dollar amount and yet again-
I’ve found something,
they found - NOTHING!
Same scowl, same slump

Now I’m feeling torn.
Irritated that they’re not finding anything and still slumping.
But guilty that now I’ve got two shopping bags to their nothing.

Again I offer, another store?
(hey, I got a dress and a blazer for $10 ea, I’m on a roll)

We go to Parrallel- NOTHING
Foreign Exchange- NOTHING
Some shoe store - NOTHING
Styles for Less – Teen 2 breaks down and gets a scarf

We’re just about to leave the mall so I ask out of irritation,
All these stores and you guys can’t find one thing?

They look at each other with that sisterly smirk.

WHAT??!!

Well… they begin.
We like that skirt that Auntie had in Forever 21.

WHAT??!!
WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING WHEN WE WERE THERE?!

We were scared, they say as they giggle.

SCARED OF WHAT?
IT’S PROBABLY A $10 SKIRT, WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST ASK?!

Because….more giggling…we call you The Beast!
We’re scared to ask you anything.
We call you The Beast in a good way though Mom.

A good way? I’m perplexed.

However, I continue to rant for another 5 minutes about buying them the skirts,
and another 5minutes about them asking me to pick up their friend and drop them off at the mall 15 minutes before I have to drive 45 minutes for a surprise party the day before.
OK-
I get it.

So sometimes, I can be a Beast.
Hope I’m at least a big loveable Beast

Thanks Girls.


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Wordless Wednesday...Reflections of Me

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Seeing Stars

Last weekend we went to see A Christmas Carol at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood.

I had no idea how cool this little adventure would be.

I thought we were just going to watch a Disney movie at a fancy theatre.

Well to my amazement, we were smack dab in the middle of Hollywood's Walk of Fame.

(who woulda' thunk I was from around these parts of town)

We find a spot to park in an expensive little garage

and who's the first person we see when we step out onto the street.

None other then Mr. Snoop Doggy Dogg, himself!

Well I just had to pinch myself, I was so thrilled!

I tried to play it cool though...

After all that excitement, we proceeded to walk down the street

and would you guess who flew by us?

That's right- Batman.

He was kind enough to let us know, as he spread his wings wide open, that

he poses for tips.

Uh huh, that's right.

You wanna take a picture with Spidey in this super cool pose, you better pay up!

Bet ya' didn't know that Spiderman wears slippers when he walks the street...

That's so he doesn't leave any sticky spidey tracks.

This guy tried to buzz on past us, but The Boy wasn't havin' that!

He wouldn't let his Daddy step away either.

The Boy has told all his friends at school that he met Bumble Bee in Hollywood.

He comes home everyday to tell me that someone else wants to go with us.

We might just have to take a field trip there.

Michael Jackson was also posing at his star.

Dora The Explorer was backpackin'.

Cinderella and her prince were dancing in the streets.

Edward Cullen winked at The Teenager a couple times!
I know, these are the things you dream of!

Chucky from Child's Play was lunging at people with a knife as they walked past.
The Teenagers went running as fast as possible and The Boy was worried the whole way home that 'that little boy is going to get lost".

Elmo wanted to pose for a picture(for a tip of course)
but when we told him we didn't have a camera,
he gave us a lecture for being in Hollywood without a camera.
(Yes, I'm still without a camera!!)

And to top off our awesome adventure, the movie was in 3D.
I obviously have never seen the commercials because I had no idea!
I don't think anyone else had any idea how scary this movie would be for the kiddies either.
You've been warned!
Kids will cry.
But you WILL look cool!

Word to the wise-

If you're visiting Hollywood soon,

bring a camera

and bring some dolla' dolla' bills y'all!

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Things that make you go hmmmmm….

Compliment or not-

“Wow, your hair is/ nails are so long.”
This is not a compliment people. It’s a statement. A fact.
How do you respond? Yes, they are long, thanks for noticing.

“Oh, you cut your hair.”
Yes, another statement.
Unless it is followed by a “it looks great”, that is not a compliment.

“Did you lose weight? I almost didn’t recongnize you!”
Really? Did you mean that as a compliment because it makes me feel like I must’ve looked pretty bad before. I know I was chubby, but seriously unrecognizable?

Murphy’s law-

1. Why is that when you are desperate for a red light because 1. you’re trying to finish putting on your makeup or 2. something’s fallen to the floor and rolled as far to the passenger side as possible you get nothing but green lights.

Then when you’re in a hurry you only catch red lights.

2. You’re ready to go shopping, have some money to spend and know exactly what you want, but get to the store and find absolutely nothing that you like or anything that fits.

You go back to the store when you’re flat broke and there everything is- bright and shiny, calling your name with sale tags to top it off!

3. Your teenager begs and begs you to take her to the nail shop. You finally take her but she doesn’t like any of the colors so she says she will just do them at home herself.

Oh well, just means Mama can get a mani and a pedi!
Hmmmm…..

You’re in line buying alcohol for an upcoming party, only alcohol in your shopping cart.
Everyone else in line only has milk in their carts.
Did I look like a Lush?

When your Boy meets a complete stranger he tells stories in complete detail of when he got in trouble and punished.
Hmmmm...Thanks Son.


www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Hey good lookin, whatch’ya got cookin?

Well I don’t know who taught my kids to be such DIVAS.
As soon as Teen 2 turned 3 yrs old, I was no longer allowed to fix her hair or get her dressed.
She would do fancy up twist in her hair, spray hairspray, she knew how to put clips in better than I could.
She refused to wear anything but ankle socks.
A pure Diva.
But she’s a girl, so that’s understandable.

Somehow, my boy is a Diva too.
He refuses to wear anything but jeans outside of the house.
If you try to put sweatpants on him, he will ask a thousand times over if he’s going anywhere first.
He insist that he gels and combs his own hair and will choose either shark hair (Mohawk) or spikey.
He likes to floss his own teeth.
He knows his Vans, from Nikes, and Jordans.
Shall we call him a Divo?
I’m still allowed to pick his clothes for him though, I think this is because he’s too lazy to wake up in the morning. So as I’m getting him dressed this morning, he wakes in horror as he realizes that I’ve put skinny jeans on him.
I HATE SKINNY JEANS!!!! He demands.
(they were on clearance and all I could find at Christmas, his sisters love to put them on with a skater shirt and his Vans)
Uggghhhh, of course that was all that were washed.
I don’t have time to argue over clothes in the morning.
So he got to choose skinny jeans or shorts.
He tore off his skinny jeans with fury and happily put on his shorts.
Of course, it’s 20 degrees cooler today than it was yesterday,
he’ll be cold but he’ll be happy!

To make my morning even more fun,
I’m reminded that tonight is International Dinner Night at preschool.
Thank goodness Grandma is staying with us.
For the first time in a month, I’m asking her to cook.
She’s making adobo.
It’s a Filipino dish.
If you’ve had it, you know it is mmmm, mmmm, GOOD!!!
It’s very simple to make and feeds a lot of people.
Perfect for the upcoming cold weather.
Give it a try:

Ingredients
4-5 lbs. chicken thighs
1/2 cup white vinegar
1/2 cup soy sauce
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tsp. black peppercorns
3 bay leaves

Directions
Combine all ingredients in a large pot. Cover and marinate chicken for 1-3 hours. Bring to boil, then lower heat. Cover and let simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Uncover and simmer until sauce is reduced and thickened, and chicken is tender, about 20 more minutes. Serve with steamed rice.

Enjoy!!
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How this week FLU by...

Monday 1:30 pm – ring, ring…Hi this is Jane from XYZ Jr. High, your daughter is very sick, can you please pick her up.

Being that it’s 1:30 which means school lets out shortly after, plus the fact that she mentioned that she’s very sick, I figure it must be true and start freaking out on my way. What if I get there and she has a fever and sore throat?
How do I know if this is the H1N1 (yes, I can be a bit of a hypochondriac)
Sure enough when I get there, Preteen has exactly that!!!
Since I’m freaking out, hubby suggest taking both Preteen and The Boy to the dr. since he’s been coughing again for the past few weeks.

A short trip later, sitting in an office full of sick kids, and $20 paid in co-payments, Preteen just has a cold and The Boy’s nasal allergies are flaring up.

Tuesday 8pm- I get back from an evening of shopping for 3 different outfits for The Teenager’s choir performances this week and notice that the boy is feeling pretty warm.
I take his temperature and it’s normal.
By 9pm I have to pick up The Teenager from rehearsal and hubby text me that he does indeed have a fever.
By the time we go to bed he’s up to 101.

Wed- stay home from work day. I bleached the heck out of the house, lysoled all the door knobs, remote controls, computer keyboard & mouse, pillows, everything I could think of.
Friday was Preteen’s b-day party which officially made her Teen 2.

Thursday- all seems good in the heavily lysoled household.

Friday- I’ve been fooled by that horrid flu bug.
The Teenager calls at 8:50 and says she’s not feeling well.
Of course being the suspicious mother that I can be, I tell her she needs to stick it out one more period, if she comes home no computer or going out with friends.
By 10am, ring ring… Hi, this is Joan from XYZ High School, your teenager is in the office with a fever of 100.6 and needs to be picked up!!!
Another sick day.
More bleach, more Lysol, and now antibacterial pump by the front door.

Friday night we had a great scary 13th birthday party which officially makes me a mother of two teenage girls!!!
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Followed by dentist appts, show performances on Sat.

Sunday was day of relaxation…

Until Teen 1 came to me with the thermometer at 7pm reading 100.5

Where’s the fly swatter, I need to kill this bug dead??!!

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Love is…saying you're sorry

When you realize you’re wrong

Even if you had a long frustrating day at work
Even if you checked the kids grades
(because now you can watch over your kids like a hawk)
you weren’t too happy with what popped up on the screen.
Then your drive home felt like an eternity

And you asked someone to do something but they questioned you.

Even when you got home you were steamin' mad and frustrated
And took phones away
And yelled
And punished
And yelled

Then while cooking dinner you realized that you were being too harsh
And the punishment didn’t fit the crime
And sometimes it’s ok for them to question you if there’s good reason.
Because you wish you would speak up and question and confront things when you feel they’re wrong, not just agree and comply because it’s authority.

So you breathe.

Then you say…I’m sorry.
even if you have to say it to your kids.



www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Mr. Big Stuff...Who do you think you are

The kids are back in school!

Preteen’s now an 8th grader…
Big kid on the block…
Well sorta…

Here’s some of our text conversation:

Me: How was your first day as the big kid on the block?
Preteen: Aha, It was good (:
Me: Did you throw any 7th graders in the trash can?
Preteen: They’re all bigger than me Mom!!
Me: Did they throw you in the trash can?
Preteen: Ahahaha…NO!

They’ll be glad they’re teeny tiny things when they get older, I think?!

***********************************************

The teenager was at her dad’s house and needed a paper to be completed.
Of course she didn’t realize until 9pm the night before that his computer didn’t work!

So over the phone she dictated her paper.
I questioned things, she changed things.
I insisted, she corrected.
I couldn’t comprehend, she texted.
I argued a point, she listened.
She argued her point, I listened.
She dictated, I typed.
We brainstormed.

Most importantly, we didn’t fight! We actually laughed.
Probably the first time since she was in kindergarten!
We DO NOT do homework together.
This was a big thing!
We were proud of each other, we laughed.

***********************************************

As we were getting ready for bed, the boy asked if he’d get moved up to the 4 yr old class.

Guess what?!

He was! The teachers told him as soon as he stepped foot into school this morning!

He’s so excited.

Mr. Big Stuff!

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Honest Scrap & Straight Outta' a 3 yr old's Mouth

I have to thank Sunshine for handing out this awesome award to me...

I feel like I've won an Emmy or maybe a Grammy (because you know I sing so well!)

So stop by Sunshine's blog and visit her lovely life as she soaks up the sun in the tropics. I'm so jealous!

There are three rules for this award:
Rule #1. link back to the person who gave you the award
Rule #2. Give the award to 10 other bloggers

Now anyone that knows me knows just how much I hate this part.

I'm really bad about this, because I wanna choose everyone in my blog roll.

So please consider this passed on to you!

I truly enjoy reading each and every unique one.

I laugh, I cry...oh sorry, more of that emmy nomination speech coming out!

Rule #3. List 10 honest things about yourself.

1. I overthink just about every thing I do, but alot of times I jump into things really quickly.

2. I H A T E to play sports, but I'm good at shooting hoops!

3. In most ways I'm probably a polar opposite of myself, oh no, does this mean I'm bi-polar??!!

4. Once my mind is made up, I rarely change it, I'm just stubborn that way!

5. I can sing amazing and dance all the latest moves in the car, but once I'm out all rythm is gone

6. I can't stay awake thru a whole movie unless it's really really depressing

7. I cannot measure the width of my body, I'm constantly running into doorways

8. I rarely pass up dessert (maybe that's my problem with #7)

9. I graduated high school at 15.

10. I usually say inappropriate things loudly at the wrong time and don't realize it until I've completely overthunk it! (this is hubby's favorite, he's so embarrassed of me!)

Since I'm usuing my blog as journal of our life, (hopefully one day I can figure out if I actually print this stuff), I have to write down some of the witty comebacks and crazy questions from the kids when they were 3 before I forget...

Teenager- this girl's personality is fierce. She's a fighter and since she was born on my b-day, we clashed A L O T! I've had to learn to deal with this one in an amicable way. (yes Ry, I linked the dictionary meaning for you)

Remember she's 3- I told her she needed to pick up her toys and clean her room. She is very defiant and would not do it.

She's standing there in her doorway with one hand on the door knob and the other on her hip.

Me- If you don't clean you're room you're gonna be in trouble.

Her- So What!

Me- Don't say So What, so what is a bad word.

Her- So What's not a bad word, F*@% you is a bad word!!

Now thank goodness I was in the right mind to punish her right then for saying it, but as soon as I turned around I laughed so hard...sassy little thing you!!

Pre-teen - this is the comeback queen. From the time she could open her mouth, she's been spittin' fire. Problem is, most of the time she's right,take this case for instance...

We're getting ready to go to the playground and she's in her room getting ready. She's always been a little diva and hasn't let me dress her or fix her hair since she was 3. So she comes out of her room with her cute little white sandals on.

Me-You need to take your sandals off and wear tennis shoes

Her- No, I want to wear my sandals

Me- You can't wear your sandals to the playground because you're gonna get sand in your shoes.

Her- I'm gonna get sand in my shoes anyway with my tennis shoes on!

Ugghhh, ok, wear the tennis shoes!

The Boy- now this isn't a comeback, but since he's my only boy, this is the funniest thing ever to me right now...

Call me naive, but I had no idea that boys just have this fascination with their anatomy from the moment they're born. As he's taking a shower yesterday he calls out that he's done.

I go in and open the shower door to see him squeezing his poor little testie in his fingers, back and forth he goes.

Him- Mom, I have a knuckle down here. (as he proceeds to show me)

Me-No son, that's not a knucle.

Him- What is it?

Me- (thinking oh my do I really have to have this conversation right now?!) It's a testicle son.

As I wrap him up and carry him to his room, he's got a steady hold on his new found friend! BOYS! (Glad he can't read yet, he'd be horrified)

And that's some honest scrap!

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Growing Pains...

The end of the year is steadily approaching which means birthday season is fast upon us...

The boy will go first, turning 4 in September.

This boy has quite an imagination and can tell a story, well, just about as good as all my other kids! They tend to stretch the truth and turn a small thing into a much grander, more eleborate event!

If you went upon his words, you would think this boy has a dirt bike, and 2 street bikes (motorcycles). (Yes, he wants to be a biker boy, just like daddy and Uncle Jeff)

His bikes are in the shop. They're being worked on because he had an accident.
One is red (because 1 of everything in his life is red) and one is green.
If you'd ever like to see these bikes, you get on the freeway, then go right, then left. I know this because he screamed that during a tantrum on our way home, apparently we were supposed to be going to the shop!

He's lived his life in reverse, sorta like the great Benjamin Button.

When he was a older, he was a bad boy. He went to jail.
(Hence his immense fear for policemen and their guns) However he does thoroughly enjoy locking himself up with those red fuzzy handcuffs play handcuffs he finds!

When he was a teenager, he had 5 dirt bikes. He did tricks on his ramp, on his BMX bike with pegs, and big jumps on his skateboard.

But now he's just a boy. A boy who's obsessed with words like butt and poop!
Take your pick, either one seems to fit into any sentence that comes out of his mouth.

The pre-teen will officially become a teenager in October.

I had the pleasure of taking her school shopping this weekend.
She used to be the girl that would find something no matter where we went, just for the sheer joy of getting something because mom said she could.

But now she's a teenager and everything MUST fit just right. So we walked up and down the mall corrider, going in and out of the stores, trying on this shirt, those pants, arguing about prices and drilling in that I'm not buying her another pair of skinny jeans...for 5 hours this circus goes on, only to find 1 stinkin' shirt!

Oh, how I longed for the days when she enjoyed wearing sweats and would just pick something! I guess after all these years of yelling at her for "just picking something because" has backfired!

The teenager will be 16 in December

She took her first vacation without her family, to Vegas of all places! I know, I'm crazy!
She was with her friends family, and yes, I was terrified at times.
But she's alive and she's home, so that's good, right?!

So Sunday morning we're up and getting ready to go to brunch and I go in her room to check out my outfit in the mirror (I mean 5 hrs of shopping and frustration, I deserved something new!)
She's acting a little funny and giving me that wierd look,
that "I did something wrong, does she notice?" smile
At first I figure it's because we're dressed similar, and I think she secretly likes it

Then I realize it

I see that shining reflection that's beaming off the side of her nose
I look, I yell, "What is that?!! Why did you do that?!!, When did you do that?!!!!!!!!"

Smirk, "I did it last night" "I cleaned everything really good Mom, I used the earing cleaner"

Still yelling "You're gonna get an infection!!!" "I told you next time you need to ask me first"

Next time?! you're asking yourself....oh yes, this is the second time. She recently took out a septum piercing. What is a septum you ask?
a dividing wall, membrane, or the like, in a plant or animal structure; dissepiment.

Yep, a dividing membrane in between the nose, like where you pierce a bull...that's where my sweet girl had her piercing. She recently took that out. But who was I kidding, she then became obsessed with how cute they look on the outside of ones nose.

Well my sweet child, you still had 2 father's you needed to go through. If one didn't have a fit, the other would. I'm sorry your Dad made you take it out!

In due time my love!

Now since we're on her birthday, we of course have to talk about mine because it's the same day. And we hate I mean, LOVE it, don't we?

I am definetly feeling the pain of getting older, now that I'm officially in my thirities, now I'm thirty plus a real number, gasp!!

I realize that ALL the clothes we saw in the mall, were clothes that I wore in jr. high. Funny how these things return. Then I worry that I'm shopping in the same stores.
I see women that are older than my mother at these stores trying things on and wondering to myself, is she really gonna wear that?!

Then I wonder if the kids my daughters age are saying that about me?!

I've been having this terrible pain that has set into my shoulder and moved down to my hand. It's been creeping up on me for a few months now, coming and going, but now I feel like it wants to make a permanent home and it terrifies me! Mom's can't be down, I can't be down. I hate it.
This getting old stuff aint no joke!

So last night, I'm just out of commission. I decide I'm gonna lay down and ice my shoulder.

Hubby's got the boy covered. They get ice cream from the ice cream man. Sweet of them to buy me one, but not in the mood to eat it. So they enjoy theirs.
Since mama's not cooking, they get Taco Bell. I said no to that, but hubby knows, I will not refuse food in front of my face. Smart man that he is brought me some...good thinkin!

But after the ice cream, Taco Bell, kimchi soup, and I'm sure a few other snacks hubby has enjoyed, I wonder to myself - why isn't he growing?

I'd like to send a Shout Out

or a shot out...I'm a dork and don't really know what is the right way to say it...

To the teenager:
I know you didn't want to wake up on Tuesday morning and spend your summer day watching your sick little brother because he had a fever and mom had to go to work.
I know because you looked up at me with squinted eyes as I shook you out of your deep sleep and said "I don't want to", but because I'm the loving mother that I am, I replied "I don't care, you're watching him!!!!!".
You complied and were actually pleasent to deal with for the remainder of the day. It may have had something to do with needing to be nice in order to get school clothes but none the less, you were pleasent and complied, so thank you!

To the pre-teen:
Thanks for helping your sister with the above. And also, thank you for making dinner on Wed. night because we were at swim and haven't had a home cooked meal in 2 weeks!!! Thank you for not burning the rice! The rice and chicken were scrum-deli-umptious!
in 2 months, mama's not gonna be able to call you a pre-teen anymore...oh no!

To the boy:
Thank you for being good when your sister's were watching you. I know you were good because you kept telling your sissy to "tell mommy I'm being good!". And thank you for being so sweet this morning and giving mommy the last bottle of water from the fridge! I know you were going in there with a glimmer of hope that there would be a juice box however to your disappointment there was only a stinkin' bottle of water!

To hubby:
Thanks for loving me for me. I know you think I'm loud and crazy but you love me anyway. I know because you told the girls "that's just your mom, she's loud!" as you tried to explain to them why I text with so many exclamation points and multiple question marks??!!!

To the boy's preschool:
Cause it's Kid's Night Out! I don't know what you do to our kids to pump them up about coming back to school on a Fri night to hang out with their teachers, but I love you for it! We're just as excited cause that means Date Night!! whoohoo!!

To my scale:
Thank you for not budging in the wrong direction these days! Even though I haven't visited my friend treadmill or that crazy monster bow-flex at all this summer. You've let me enjoy my sangria, bud lite lime, and backyard bbq's. I'm hoping the summer bike rides and teaching that boy mama's version of dribbiling is counting for something! I promise, I'm watching my points!
Now if you could just help me fit in these skinny jeans??!


www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Life Changing...Teen Pregnancy

Sandy at One day at a Time hosts Tell Me About It Thursday. I read about it too late, but after reading the topic, I just kept thinking about it over and over...so I'm a few days late but here it is...

The topic today is: An event that changed your life

Well that's an easy one for me - getting pregnant at just 14 years old.

When I first thought about this topic I thought, well this'll be easy. But as the days past I just thought about every aspect of my life that is touched because of this.

Being a teen mom is not easy, obviously.

But unless you've lived it, you absolutely no idea just how hard it is.

Let me start by saying that I came from a good home. We went to church every Wednesday and Sunday, I went to school everyday, and mainted a good grade average.

But I was a teenager, a teenager who was much more mature than I should've been

(I always joke that I'm actually 10 yrs older than my real age).

A teenager who was "in love" and was determined to do what I wanted to do no matter what anyone said or did.

Obviously my parents were heartbroken and very upset. But my 14 year old brain couldn't process the life changes that I was about to go thru...

Judgment

When you're a teen mom, people believe that they know what's going on in your life and that they have the right to judge you.

Once when I was pregnant as I was walking into a store; the solictor outside asked how old I was. I replied ,14. He said, If I was your father, I would woop your ass.

Well thank god you're not my father, thank god my father has taught me better than to speak to someone with such disrespect.

Another time I was at the laundry mat folding my daughters clothes and a man walked up to me and said, Why didn't you give her up? Excuse me, I asked?

He said, why didn't you give her up for adoption?

Really, are you serious, you think you have the right to ask me that?!

I just chose to ignore his ignorance...

My prenatal care nurses told me I would be obese while I was a whopping 120 lbs.

Again another adult choosing to say anything they wish to scare me.

That is the kind of judgement and verbal harrasment that most teen parents have to deal with.

Now I'm not trying to be an advocate for teen parents,

but more of an advocate for not judging people.

This turned me into a bit of an introvert because I always felt like people were judging me.

Determination

But this also made me a more determined person.

I was determined to prove everyone wrong and show them that I wasn't this loser kid that got pregnant.

I became, what felt like, a full blow adult when I had my daughter on my 15th birthday

(oh yeah labor from 4am to 11:50pm, Happy Birthday to you!!)

I gave up my friends and hanging out for my baby and motherhood.

At 16, I had graduated high school, moved out to my own apt,

working full time, and part time college.

At 17, I had my second daughter.

By 20, I was married, bought my first home, had a brand new car,

and was financially making what people twice my age were making.

However by the age of 24, I was divorced, selling my 2nd home and had filed bankruptcy.

(I told you 10 years older than my real age!)

Realization

As I got older I realized alot of the things I had done out of determination to...

#1 Prove that I could be a good mom - this is a constant work in progress

#2 Prove everyone wrong - not always such a good reason to do things. I realized that I did things for other people, not for myself.

#3 Prove to myself that I was strong and capable enough to handle the life that I had created for myself.

I realized that I had given up a lot to become this parent at 15 years old. That I had missed out on alot of life because I was already a parent, because I was always wanting to prove something, prove someone wrong.

I don't think that I really truly believed that having my kids so young was such a big deal until my oldest daughter turned 14. That's when the reality of it hit me, when I stopped to actually understand the life of a teenager, when I could understand the heartbreak and dissapointment that my parents must've felt...

She is now 15 1/2 and my 2nd daughter is coming up on 13, and let me tell you, this has been THE most stressful, anxiety filled year of my life. Not because they're bad kids, they're typical teenagers. But because I realize how much I missed out on and do not want that for them.

I love my girls to death and honestly wouldn't change a thing, but I want so much more for them. I want them to experience life as a teenager. Go to school dances, experience dating, keep their high school friends through the years, just enjoy living. Enjoying being young.

I'm stressed beyond words hoping that I've raised them well and am leading them in the right direction. Working on keeping communication open but still being the mom, not just their friend. And of course the sensitive subject of talking to your kids about how hard life is without making them feel like they were the cause of it. We live well now, but I dont want them to not understand where we came from and what we've gone through.

This keeps me up at night, hence my insomnia!

This post became longer than I thought and not sure if I could pinpoint just the thing that changed in my life. Maybe it's just been more of a therapy session for me to actually have to go back and think about these things.

ME

By my life experience overall is much different than most people would assume.

I am who I am because of it.

Now I'm able to enjoy things in life for myself and my family and am not doing it out of determination to prove someone wrong.

I try my best not to judge someone at first glance because I've been judged and looked down upon. I have no idea what's going on in their life.

I married a great man and I've learned to lighten up and not always be in control, it's a partnership...(right honey?!!)

I had my son at 27 and am doing my best to enjoy every second of it because I know how quickly they grow.

I'm trying to do the best job raising these teenage girls with all my love and compassion.

"May I never miss a sunset or a rainbow because I was looking down." ~Anonymous

With the everyday madness that we call life,

we just need to step back and find our rainbows and sunsets

These are mine...

Your husband meeting you for lunch cause your weekend's jam packed with parties

Watching your kids write their name with sparklers(Yes I realize he's writing his name from right to left!)

Pinata loot!!!! (find some chocolate for mama)

A 3 yr old Evil Kanevil

Sisterly love
A summer evening ride with ALL of my offspring

(Wow, are they really all mine??!!)

Take the time to appreciate these things

It all happens too fast!