You're Up then You're Down

My name is Janelle, and I love to eat.

So I’ve gained some weight.
I’ve blamed my past surgery- it must be hormonal I say.

I also try to convince myself that I don’t care,

I’m happy with the way I am, I think to myself.
But when clothes are no longer fitting properly

and my muffin top has now become a cupcake with extra topping

I realize that I’m kidding yourself.

I try eating right again.

Getting on the treadmill a few days a week.

The Good News is the Bad News

I went for my MRI results today,
he asks if I want the good news
or the bad news
but actually the good news was the bad news.

The MRI appeared normal.
There was slight bulging
but not enough to irritate a nerve root he says.
It's quite baffling, he continues
as he rotates my neck around in various motions
To the side, does this hurt?
No, not really.
Well how about when you raise your arm?
Like this?
No, nothing.

It could be that when you're leaning on your desk you hit that nerve and it makes your pinkie tingle, he explains, as he is pointing to "the funny bone".

Ok Doc, I get it, you're pulling things out of the air now.
But that wouldn't make your neck hurt? again with the baffled look.
Well let's just continue with the physical therapy for your flare ups.
um...flare ups of WHAT???!!!!
And if it still doesn't get better, you can see the spine specialist.
All your symptons appear to be a neck problem, but we'll check your spine too.

Now the hypochondriac starts to think of other disesases that it could possibly be.
I've been checked for arthritis, and that was negative so that's good.

So I kept myself busy pulling loads of weeds.
Seriously loads!
Filled my trashcan up half way.
Weeding is one of those things that sounds good for about the first 2 minutes!
Too bad the job took over an hour and a half!
But the flower bed looks lovely, I must say.

After that, I tore The Boy's room apart.
Purged the closets and have a good size bag to donate to the needy.
Hung up his skateboard shelf,

Question- how exactly are you supposed to get anchors in the wall?

That was another thing that sounded like a good idea for the first 2 minutes!

Good news is I took this week off, so I've been able to rest my arm,shoulder, neck issue.
Bad news, I gotta work for the rest of my life!!!

I can just hear it like the sound of Arnold in my ear...
I'll be back

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

You think you’re cooler than me

When your kids are young, they adore everything you do.
There’s nothing you can do that doesn’t make them laugh.
They accept all your hugs and kisses.
They hold your hand as you walk through the store
(unless they’re hiding from you in the clothes racks…
Ugghh, I hate when he does that!!)

The Boy is on the cusp of turning 5 and he already won’t kiss me at daycare.

Now, they all look at me like I’m some kind of freak when I sing along to their songs!
Sorry girls, but you used to think I was Mariah fricken Carey!

Today The Girls called me at work with the radio blaring in the background
Mom, do you like Pitbull?
Why, I ask (they’re always some ulterior motive with teenagers)
You’re gonna make fun of me aren’t you? I ask with hesitation.
No, we’re not.
Yes, I do. I admit proudly.
I could hear the snicker in Teen 1’s voice.
Yeah, Teen 2 said you probably knew all the words to this song!, she says.

Whatever!! So what, your mama still likes to shake her booty when she hears music!!
Next time, I will learn all the words and rap along with him!

Then there’s the days that they call me to say they’re going on a bike ride.
You better not ride MY bike! I remind them each time.

M O M!!
N O O N E wants to ride your bike!

What?!
Seriously, I have
The COOLEST bike in the whole house!
What do they mean?!

I mean seriously, look at this thing. People look at me with envy in their eyes when they see me riding this sweet piece of machinery down the street!

There are times when I walk into their room to check myself out in the mirror
Only to realize that we’re pretty much wearing the same outfit!

Ha, you think you’re cooler then me…
You dress just like me?!

I won’t mention that this is MY hat she’s wearing!

It's probably because you think you're cooler than me!

*wink* love you girls

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

I've got the hickeys to prove it...

The pain subsides for a while
Then resumes
This time it’s back with a vengeance.

I’ve been battling it pretty hard for about 4 weeks now.
Trying another chiropractor
Who gives me, yet again, a different diagnosis
Upper Cross Syndrome.

First General Practictioner said it was Radiculopathy
Chiropractor said it was Thoracic Outlet Syndrome

Wednesday, I’ll go to an Orthopedic Surgeon who specializes in shoulder injuries where I'll probably receive a different diagnosis.

I ice
I heat
I stretch
I get massages
I get adjusted by the Chiropractor
I rest it when I’m not working (hence no blogging)

But the burning in my back radiates into my arm
The constant pain nags me as it moves from area to area each day
There's a weakness and tingling I feel down my fingers

and what makes it worse is the hyper sensitivity in my pinkie finger
My jaw is clenched constantly
I’m at the point of holding back uncontrollable tears.

I decide, I’m gonna find a acupuncturist on Monday.
I google some in the area, but of course noone is open after I get off of work.
I decide I’ll take a drive to the only one I’ve seen in my neighborhood.

I pull up
And I’m concerned.
Flashing lights, OPEN!
They do acupuncture, chiropractic, foot massages, regular massages,
I call hubby…
I think this places does “happy endings too!” I warn him.

He wishes me luck and in I go.

There’s an older Korean lady that greats me as I walk in the door.
Are you open for a while? I ask, Do you have time for acupuncture?
Yes, she replies as she nods her head.
My shoulder really hurts. I try to explain.
I look at the price list on the counter – Accupuncture $40
Here’s my insurance card, but I’ll pay cash if you don’t accept it.

Ok, ok, she nods again. I check for you.
You pay cash this time. I check for you for next time.

Ummm…ok.

You come in, she motions me to the back.

The linoleum on the floor is dated, reminds me of my grandma’s green kitchen tiles.
The walls are plain and dingy.
She tells me to take off my shirt and lay on the bed.

I take a look at the bed and then my eyes wonder up to the ceilings.
There are poles along the ceiling.
Bingo, I was right!!
I take out my phone to send a picture to hubby, but she’s instantly back in the room!

Lay down, she tells me again.
Now I’m worried. She didn’t even really ask what’s wrong.

You tight, I use lots of needles, she stearnly says as she’s pricking my back.
It is the strangest sensation, it’s like you’re being darted by some Native American as you’re running through the woods. Flick, flick, flick, she continues in my back along both shoulder blades.

Then she rolls a machine over.
I feel the suction of four rubber pieces on my back,

they begin to suck my skin tight,

suddenly the electric stimulation begins.
I feel the needles moving as the machine is running.
Crap, I'm thinking. I saw Electric Accupuncture listed, but I didn't check the price?!

She feels along my arms and hands, then flicks me a couple places with more needles.
Those ones hurt!!

She walks out and I hear her come back in the room as she snaps her gum and drags her feet through halls.
Did I mention that not only does she perform acupuncture, she’s the receptionist too.
This little lady also answers her cell phone to schedule appoints as she’s working on me.

She begins to take the needles out of my back and they clank into another cylinder.

Which I'm hoping they're sterilized in.

All of a sudden I feel these little cups on my back, and she’s got some special suctioning tool that makes them suck every bit of skin into them.

(Wheh, I'm glad that I watched The Karate Kid and saw that cupping they did, otherwise I'd really be worried!)

She positions and sucks about 20 cups in various places all over my back. She flicks the cups, she massages my blades. She continues, YOU TOO TIGHT.
She pulls one cup off and exclaims, Wow.
I’m concerned. Is that good or bad, I ask?
Talking no good, she scolds!!
Ok, I say in response. (oh crap, no talking)

All the cups are removed and she starts to stretch out my back.
Then I feel her climb up on the bed over me.
And then…
I heard her hands sliding across the poles on the ceiling
And her feet digging into my back!

She dug her toes into my shoulder blades with a vengeance!
I could hardly breathe, but I was just hoping this treatment would help.
It was a good hurt.
The way this woman could use her feet to massage was extraordinary.
Up and down my back.
In my shoulders,
Along my neck.

Then she started in on my calves.
You whole body stressed.
Slow time tonight, you too much tension!

No crap, I’m thinking. How much is this gonna cost me??!!
Of course I’m stressed!!

At any minute I’m expecting Lucy Liu to walk in the door with her leather outfit to whip me into shape!!

She jumps off of the table and begins digging underneath my skull and at the base of my neck.
I'm cringing and trying to keep from squirming in hopes of relieving some pain in the end.

Then comes the hard chop, chop, chop
and slap, slap, slap.

Ok, you done.

I get up off the bed and feel like I've just been in the fight of my life.
My eyes are swollen and I can't even see straight.

She orders me to drink water before I leave.

I get in my car and inspect my arms for needle pricks, but don't find any.
Well, that was interesting, I think to myself on the drive home.

Once I get home, I take off my shirt and ask hubby if I have prick marks on my back.
Oh My God, he yells!!

What?!! I'm freaking out.

I look in the mirror and I have about 20-30 2 inch diameter hickeys on my back!!

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Confessions of a shopaholic...Bitter melon makes me bitter

I’m half Filipino
half Caucasian (to be politically correct)

When you see me,
you think I’m Mexican.
I suppose that’s what the mix produced in my case.

Which means when I walk into a Filipino grocery store,
they look at me and wonder what I’m doing there.

I usually get the quick glance as I walk in,
that simply says,
Does she know which kind of market she just wandered into?

When I have a planned recipe in my head,
I know exactly what to go for.

However yesterday, I was on a mission for one thing.
One thing only.
A bitter melon.

I walk into the store,
They look at me and look confused.
I look at them, smile,
look at the vegetables,
then look back at them confused.

What in the world does a bitter melon look like? I wonder.

I ask politely, Do you have bitter melon?
Yes, it’s in there.
He points to a fridge full of vegetables,
Long green beans,
Squash,
Eggplant,
Okra,
Cabbage,
And a few other green items.

I look again, trying to figure it out by a process of elimination.
I know what this is,
I know what that is.
And I try to think back about when I’ve made the mistake of biting into a bitter melon.
I just can’t figure it out.

Ummmm…which one is it? My obvious not Filipino enough self asks with shame.

This one.
He points to something that looks like a shriveled up, unripe, green, hardened squash.

Oh yeah, ok. Got it.

Now the smell of fried fish is dancing in the air.
If you’ve grown up with that smell…
You understand.

It makes you happy inside.
It makes you hungry inside.
It makes you crave a giant plate of fish and rice.
It's comfort food.

I try to redeem myself by acting like I know what I’m doing now,
I decide I’ll make the one dish that I know uses bitter melon.

I turn around and there’s the seasoning packet for Sinigang.
It’s a fish soup.
Now my tastebuds are at full attention.

I walk back to the butcher and ask him to clean and cut up some fish for sinigang.
And while you’re at it, fry me up a Tilapia.
(clearly I know what I’m doing)

I’ve got my bitter melon in one hand.
Sinigang packet in the other
My fish is on order.

Cool.
Confident.

Confused.

Hmmm…where’s that guy again?
Um, excuse me…I’m making sinigang.
What other vegetables do I use beside bitter melon.

He looks at me as if he’s gonna laugh in my face.
Then he does!
This little man looks like my grandpa.
And he’s laughing at me.
You don’t use bittermelon in singang, he says with a little chuckle.
Hmph, My Grandma does, I quickly reply.
(so there)
No, she doesn’t, he comes back.
Noone does.

Ok, so maybe you’re right then.

So what soup do I put bitter melon in?

Pinakbet.

Oh geez, I’ve heard of it.

He takes my sinigang packet out of my hand.
Then he hands me a Tamarind packet.

We bicker some more about which soup I’m supposed to be making.
I pick up a few more vegetables that he suggested.

I take a look at the new seasoning packet, it’s got shrimp on the picture.

But I just had him cut me up fish?

It’s ok, he says as he laughs in my face again.

I’m thinking…you know what Grandpa, I’m beginning not to like you!
The Boy and I load up our cart full of goodies.
And head home.

My house is now full fish, vegetables, and seasoning packets.
I’ve looked up recipes for both soups.
But guess what, I don’t have all the ingredients for either…

That’s it, I’m calling my Mom!

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Confessions of a Shopaholic…Biker Babe

Hubby drives a Honda CBR
aka Street Bike
aka Crotch Rocket

I must admit, I think it's pretty hot.

And I wanna be a Biker Babe
I wanna be this hot girl
In the tight jeans
And gorgeous boots
With a jacket that fits in all the right places

The girl that pulls off her helmet so sexy
with all her long flowing hair
Shaking and falling

to land just
P E R F E C T…

www.bikerornot.com/eviestreasures

This past Valentines Day,
I asked him to take me on a ride
So I could be that
Hot Biker Babe

However-

The reality of it was
I don’t have a cute jacket
So I had to wear one of his jackets
Uggh…men’s cut
Instead of being tight in all the right places
It’s big and bulky

It’s leather,
Which only means it’s
REALLY HOT (literally)

Then I have to wear his gloves
So now I have man hands to top it off.

I put on my helmet
And I think…
I’m g o n n a pass out….

I am wearing some cute jeans
But the whole time I'm worried
My butt crack was on display

Whenever we would stop at a red light
I would look over and see people looking at us
And all I could think about was
My butt is hanging out!

Oh and before I forget to mention this...

I’ll tell you that my head bumps into hubby’s
everytime we stop or accelerate

CLANK!

This is so not the picture I had in mind.

When I take off my helmet,
I feel like I’ve got helmet hair.

Oh well, at least I've got a cute helmet!

We rode to have breakfast by the marina
Then cruised along the beach

On the way home,
I learned how not to bump heads.

And how to hold on tight and lean with him.

After all the stress and unsexyness- it was fun.

But next time I wanna be the Biker Babe.

Which lead me to my search-

I found Levi’s Skinny Jeans for Curvy girls.
These things are amazing!
If you have a larger derriere
And thicker thighs…
Say built like Beyonce
(wink wink)
These jeans are for you.

And I found my own jacket
No more manly build
This sweet jacket was marked down from $149.99
To only $49.99

At http://www.motorcyclesuperstore.com/

There's no more though,sorry!

Although I would to have one of these sexy things...

This beauty is $239.50,

I just couldn't bring myself to pay that much for something I'd hardly wear.

This sexy curvy thing might need to get a savings started for $157.99

Now if I only I can find some new boots!

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Reason or Warning

As a celebration of getting rid of my clunker
and acquiring my sweet new ride
we decided to take a day trip to one of our
favorite little spots
Old Town San Diego
It’s a quaint little town
Where you can watch torillas being made
and eat some of the best carnitas north of the border
View some great old style Mexican art
Crank the machine for your souvenir smashed penny
And the trip just wouldn’t be complete without a stop at the candy store
There are buckets, baskets, and bins full of every sugary confection your little heart desires
Which leads to tough decision making for the kiddies
And, well, with me being the beastly great mother that I am
I want to help The Boy choose the right treat for the ride home
in Mama’s brand new car.

Shall we get the chocolate?
NO way
Or maybe the little candy dots that always sticks to the paper?
Nah

Oooh how bout this?
Lookey here at this candy snake!
It’s red, your favorite color Son.
And the packaging clearly reads:
“DON’T get your hands sticky!”

This, my boy, IS. THE. WINNER!

So we buy this sugary goodness
And I begin to unwrap the treat as we’re walking out the store
all while The Boy is jumping by my side in anticipation.

Gasp…WHAT?!!

Have I been tricked?!

Are you kidding me?
This is one GIANT foot long red sucker?

I was under the clear impression that this was NOT supposed to get your hands dirty.

Well as I unwrapped what I thought would be a toy covered lollipop
Was actually the whole lollipop itself!

I read the packaging to say-
Hey Moms around the world, this is great because your kids will not get their hands dirty!

However everyone else in my family read it as-
(insert sarcastic tone here) Don’t get your hands dirty
heeeheeeheee

So if you come across this sweet treat
And your reasoning for buying
Are those tricky little words…
You’ve been warned!

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Beauty or The Beast

This past Sunday afternoon, I warn the Teenagers -
I’m leaving for Forever 21 in 10 minutes.
So if you wanna join me, you better be ready.

I did mention, it was already the afternoon – they should have already been ready!

So my 10 minute warning turns into an actual 15 minutes
Which prompts me to a yell out a 2 minute warning,
of course, this naturally means 10.
They know the routine.
We go through this every morning as I threaten to leave them!

We pull up to the mall parking lot after our 15 minute drive.
Teen 2 still needs to change into the extra outfit
that she grabbed as we ran out of the door
because what she was wearing apparently wasn’t “Mall Material”.
I run inside and tell them to meet me when they’re ready.

I meet up with my sister who’s looking for some new winter gear
then The Teenagers join us.
They already have a scowl on their faces and the slump in their back.

Don’t just stand next to me, I say, go look for something.
Well can we get anything? They ask.
Yes, you’ve got $15 ea. Go find something.

And we part ways.

I run into The Teenagers 5 more times while in this brand new two-story shopaholics dream/nightmare of a store while the music is blaring(am I getting old?!)

Each time I see them, the same scowl, the same slump.

What have they found?

NOTHING, they’ve found nothing.

I on the other hand have scored a deal,
so I pay for my cute new dress and we leave the store.

I give them another opportunity,
would you like to go somewhere else I ask as they text away.
I must’ve been in a giving patient mood.

So Teen 2 wants to go into Charlette Russe.
We circle the sale racks, try clothes on, I up my dollar amount and yet again-
I’ve found something,
they found - NOTHING!
Same scowl, same slump

Now I’m feeling torn.
Irritated that they’re not finding anything and still slumping.
But guilty that now I’ve got two shopping bags to their nothing.

Again I offer, another store?
(hey, I got a dress and a blazer for $10 ea, I’m on a roll)

We go to Parrallel- NOTHING
Foreign Exchange- NOTHING
Some shoe store - NOTHING
Styles for Less – Teen 2 breaks down and gets a scarf

We’re just about to leave the mall so I ask out of irritation,
All these stores and you guys can’t find one thing?

They look at each other with that sisterly smirk.

WHAT??!!

Well… they begin.
We like that skirt that Auntie had in Forever 21.

WHAT??!!
WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING WHEN WE WERE THERE?!

We were scared, they say as they giggle.

SCARED OF WHAT?
IT’S PROBABLY A $10 SKIRT, WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST ASK?!

Because….more giggling…we call you The Beast!
We’re scared to ask you anything.
We call you The Beast in a good way though Mom.

A good way? I’m perplexed.

However, I continue to rant for another 5 minutes about buying them the skirts,
and another 5minutes about them asking me to pick up their friend and drop them off at the mall 15 minutes before I have to drive 45 minutes for a surprise party the day before.
OK-
I get it.

So sometimes, I can be a Beast.
Hope I’m at least a big loveable Beast

Thanks Girls.


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

When it rains, it pours

Friday night began the little droplets of rain as I was in the left turning lane and this clever lady decides that she can squeeze her car past mine whether she had enough room or NOT!
Well she did NOT and she scraped along the side my car as I wailed on my horn.
She didn’t even glance my way.
I got out of my car as soon as the light turned red to confirm, yes, she did in fact scrape me.
As I proceed to tell her, she pulls the old “I don’t speak a word of English” on me.
At first she said she didn’t hit me.
Then she changed up her story to

“You should’ve moved over because I didn’t have enough room.”
That’s how her son translated it anyway.
The light turned green and off she sped.

I should’ve known then that it was time to pull out the old umbrella

cause the downpour was just beginning…

Saturday morning was full of errands and

I was so excited for my first party of the Valentine’s season scheduled later that night.
Had a great party but on my way home, the little droplets continued.
While I was coming down the hill my “service engine soon” light began to flash at me.
(It’s been on for over a year,

we’ve spent thousands of dollars on this car without any real solutions)
When I come to a red light the car begins to idle low and I’m worried I’m going to stall.
I do my best to avoid the reds even if it means making

unnecessary right turns and U turns the whole way home.
As I’m making the turn into my track, everything goes haywire.
More flashing lights and the dash warns me that I should “Check Transmission” too.

Here comes the thunder and lightining…

Monday morning we take the car into the shop and the first thing they want to fix will be $600. Yes, that’s before they check the transmission!

Holy geez, by now I’ve got on my coat and umbrella and some really cute rain boots.
Just waiting for the next storm to hit...

Teen 2 had spent the night at her friends and was walking home,

but the rain was pouring and the wind was howling.

I felt bad that I didn’t have a car to pick her up and decided I’d jump into to Hubby’s El Camino (the fixer up in the drive way)

As I got one house past ours, I was reminded as I heard the clunking and felt the thump of the tire that Hubby had mentioned his right tire was low.
I tried feverishly to put the car in reverse, but it just kept going forward.
I did the best park job I could a few houses down from ours.
I get out of the car to inspect the tire and then it dawns on me…
he actually said…
“These tires are too small for these rims”
Ummm…yeah, the tire was off of the rim!
Then the phone rings, it’s him!
Panic sets in.
Is he psychic??!!
What am I going to say??!!
It poured down rain for the next 5 hours I couldn’t even try to push this car home to hide the evidence!!
Needless to say, I got the silent treatment for a while!

(Oh yeah, Teen 2 looked like a soaking wet puppy by the time she made it home)

The dealer didn’t have the parts in stock,

so I’m rolling around in a rental car for the next few days,

hoping the sun will shine down soon.

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

I'm too sexy...

Do you ever have one of those days when walk out the door for work
thinking, hey, I'm looking pretty fly
(this song is playing like a record in your head, I'm too sexy)
You’ve got on a cute top like this…

A pair of well fitted jeans
And your newest and most gorgeous pair of pumps

You know, just a little something you threw together as you flew out the door
(as I do my little turn on the catwalk)

Only to realize that…
Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed up until 1am drinking that wine and nibbling on crackers
because now your pants are too tight
and you wanna throw up from the pressure everytime you sit down
You have to unbutton your pants and pull that girdle down over your button
And you have to be thankful that your gorgeous top is long and flowy
Helping you to conceal what is potentially billowing over underneath it
(but on it still plays...i'm too sexy for my pants)
Thinking…ok, noone can tell, still pretty fly…

That is until you go to lunch and decide you wanna go shopping
You walk around the shopping center in your amazing pumps
Reasoning with yourself that the ladies in NY pound the pavement in 5 inch pumps
so certainly you can too
But as you’re on your way to the little Japanese spot to pick up your spicy tuna salad
(even though you really wanted the noodle plate, your unbuttoned pants are reminding you that you cannot afford to eat the noodles)
You remember that one foot is bigger than the other
And now your right foot is slipping out of your shoe every time you take a step
And you feel that bunion on your left foot throbbing (yeah you forgot about that too)
It feels like you’re walking a little funny but you think it’s all in your head…
(I'm too sexy for japan)

Until…
You go to that meeting full of the execs later in the day and
As you’re walking down the hallway
One of them asks you why you’re limping?
(on it plays as I do my little turn on the catwalk but now it's sounding a little warped)

And then…
You receive a text from your daughter while you’re in that meeting explaining that her school is on lockdown and she’s not sure when she’s going to be let out.
So you rush out of the meeting to call the school and they confirm that the police have put the school on lock down but don’t bother coming because they do not know how long it will last
And you go into the bathroom and cry as you freak out

You walk out to a hallway full of execs that have just exited the meeting
and now your eyes are red and puffy
Your nose is as bright as rudolph’s
Your bunion is throbbing
You’re limping
You’re tugging on your shirt in hopes that noone knows your pants are undone

(so sexy, it HURTS!)

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Ode to My Girdle

My dear girdle
At first you made me want to hurl

My dear girdle
You hold me in
And keep me tucked tight
It’s because of you that I cannot take one more bite

My dear girdle
When I tell people about you their faces curdle

My dear girdle
You are so misunderstood
They just don't realize that you do so much good

My dear girdle
You make the jiggle stop
And get rid of that muffin top

My dear girdle
We are now daily friends
Especially after that the fabric stretches and the metal bends

My dear girdle
It’s because of you my pants button

www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com

Volcano Conquering

Stress + Anxiety + Frustration =

pimples

(volcano sized in case you were wondering)

(taken from seafood punch's photostreatm at flickr)

and sleepless nightsI should be all set for Halloween...no costume needed!

Ok, enough whining...

in usual Janelle fashion, I will dust myself off and laugh at life in the face

Bwaaahhhaaaahhaaaa!

or in honor of Halloween - put on my Dr.'s cap and prescribe positive outlooks for today:

"Even too much sunshine can be devasting, while only with rain can growth occur. Accept both as part of the growing process in the garden of life."Donald S. Neviaser, from The Inner View

"It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it."Hans Selye

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Author Unkown

"Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." Benjamin Franklin

I will also share our real volcano adventure with you, maybe that's where these craters on my face came from, are these things contagious??!!

Our first adventure in Hawaii.

6am hike to the top of Diamond Head Crater

yep, 6AM

(But with the time change, it was like 9am our time, that's ok for a hike, right?!)

Hubby wanted to take a "before" picture.

Apparently, I looked over-joyed to hike a volcano at this god forsaken hour.

This is about the halfway point.

The point where we're thinking...Isn't it beautiful.

Oh Wifey, you're so great for thinking of such awesome things for us to do together!

(yes, i know that's what he was thinking)

The 1st set of stairs Huffing

Puffing

wheh....ok, we're almost there

That was kinda rough.

I read about this part though.

99 stairs to the top.

We're good.

What they actually meant -99 stairs to the tunnelWhich leads to another 99 stairs.

Then a set of metal windy stairs.

Then into an old army bunkerwhich has a couple more stairs. Oh and don't hit your head on your way out cause you only have about a 2 foot clearance

Am I the only one wondering why there's noone passed out on the side of this here crater?

Am I gonna be the first to pass out?

Will they have to airlift me out of here?

Why is hubby on his blackberry?

Whose idea was this again?

Oh that's right, my idea.

Look. at. these. views.

Spectacular.

It was well worth every huff, every puff, and each and every step taken.

(and the week of tremendous pain felt in my legs for the rest of our vacation!)

This is the "after". Not so chipper, huh?!

We came,

We climbed,

We conquered.

Oh wait, now we have to get down?!

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Confessions of a Shopaholic...Vacation Preparation

Why is that when you’re preparing for a vacation, you end up going broke

Oh wait.

Hubby, if you’re ready this blog – PLEASE STOP!
That was just a joke,
We’re not going broke!
Not at all!

*peeking around corners*

Is the coast clear?

Ok, let’s resume.

Is it just me? Or at least just my family that prepares for vacation in such a way.
I remember being this way since we were little.

Going to the beach to get a tan BEFORE going to Hawaii…guess we were trying to look like the locals.

Do you know how hard it is too find cute shorts and bathing suits at the end of September?
Try spending 7 hours shopping to find summer clothes on a Sunday afternoon.
That’s right 10am-3pm, we hit Forever 21’s on every corner of the hemisphere

Well it wasn’t that bad spending that much time shopping, plus we scored some awesome deals.

Something sorta like this except it's teal, blue, and white with THE cutest rope belt. $10.99

Another dress like this except it's a bright blue blue with a black belt. Also $10.99My only non clearance dress. But worth the $$

(When you buy stuff on clearance, it's no longer online to steal pics apparently)

Plus I got some cute tops and shorts for under $9.99

While at Target yesterday I found the cutest bathing suit top for only $4.98 ea.

I tried it on last night and was so happy that it fit the boobage so perfectly. It surprised me so much that I had to look at the tag again.

Well no wonder, it's a fricken maternity bathingsuit!!! Aaaaahhh....that's totally getting returned!

Next I need to add a little crossbody bag to throw all my things in. I don’t want to be lugging around one of my back-breaking purses while trying to hike diamond head crater.
I got this cute little guy in khaki from Target for only $9.99

Since I had all this new gear, I had to make sure Hubby was looking fly too.
So I spent a couple days buying him shorts, shirts, and flip flops.
Returning shorts, shirts, and flip flops.
And buying more shorts, shirts, and flip flops.

With all that shopping, my feet were a hot mess.
So I just had to get a pedicure yesterday.

But that turned into a mani/pedi...

Which led to the eyebrows...

Which led to the stache...
(yes I know I vowed never to do it again, but I did. I will pray for no rash 'stache)

I certainly couldn't have been walking around with chipped toenails, hangnails, crooked eyebrows, and a moustache! That is so not cute!

With all that done, I think we're finally ready to start packing!!


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