Confessions of a Shopaholic...Vacation Preparation

Why is that when you’re preparing for a vacation, you end up going broke

Oh wait.

Hubby, if you’re ready this blog – PLEASE STOP!
That was just a joke,
We’re not going broke!
Not at all!

*peeking around corners*

Is the coast clear?

Ok, let’s resume.

Is it just me? Or at least just my family that prepares for vacation in such a way.
I remember being this way since we were little.

Going to the beach to get a tan BEFORE going to Hawaii…guess we were trying to look like the locals.

Do you know how hard it is too find cute shorts and bathing suits at the end of September?
Try spending 7 hours shopping to find summer clothes on a Sunday afternoon.
That’s right 10am-3pm, we hit Forever 21’s on every corner of the hemisphere

Well it wasn’t that bad spending that much time shopping, plus we scored some awesome deals.

Something sorta like this except it's teal, blue, and white with THE cutest rope belt. $10.99

Another dress like this except it's a bright blue blue with a black belt. Also $10.99My only non clearance dress. But worth the $$

(When you buy stuff on clearance, it's no longer online to steal pics apparently)

Plus I got some cute tops and shorts for under $9.99

While at Target yesterday I found the cutest bathing suit top for only $4.98 ea.

I tried it on last night and was so happy that it fit the boobage so perfectly. It surprised me so much that I had to look at the tag again.

Well no wonder, it's a fricken maternity bathingsuit!!! Aaaaahhh....that's totally getting returned!

Next I need to add a little crossbody bag to throw all my things in. I don’t want to be lugging around one of my back-breaking purses while trying to hike diamond head crater.
I got this cute little guy in khaki from Target for only $9.99

Since I had all this new gear, I had to make sure Hubby was looking fly too.
So I spent a couple days buying him shorts, shirts, and flip flops.
Returning shorts, shirts, and flip flops.
And buying more shorts, shirts, and flip flops.

With all that shopping, my feet were a hot mess.
So I just had to get a pedicure yesterday.

But that turned into a mani/pedi...

Which led to the eyebrows...

Which led to the stache...
(yes I know I vowed never to do it again, but I did. I will pray for no rash 'stache)

I certainly couldn't have been walking around with chipped toenails, hangnails, crooked eyebrows, and a moustache! That is so not cute!

With all that done, I think we're finally ready to start packing!!


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How Do I Love Thee...

Let me count the ways…

When you leave me cash on the nightstand before you leave in the morning. I promise it doesn’t make me feel like you just left a brothel!

For letting me “drag” you to Hawaii on a schedule and letting me hustle you from one excursion to the next, hey we’ll have no kids, we have to be adventurous!

For somehow dealing with 3 estrogen filled little ladies with PMS all AT THE SAME TIME!

For not freaking out when I texted you that I’m on my way home with Grandma and she’s staying with us.

For not freaking out even more when she said she may stay til November!! Or was it December?!

For letting The Boy sneak into our bed in the middle of the night and put his feet in your face, neck, and back. I promise too soon he’ll be grown and we’ll be wishing for those days back.

Sheesh, and that’s just this weeks adventures…

Oh how I love thee...


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Wild & Crazy Friday Night

you don't nothin' bout wild
and you especially don't know nothin' bout crazy
until you let your 4 year old "cut" your hair

YES, they were really on!

Pregnancy explained

As we're sitting around the kitchen table, The Boy asks me

Mom, remember when I was pregnant?

Me and The Teenager turn and look at each other with surprise
Are we gonna have another Benjamin Button story?

I think he can tell we're a bit confused, so he proceeds to explain...

Then I just popped out!

To which The Teenager replies, Mom was pregnant with you!

He rolls his eyes, looks at her like she's crazy and says with confidence...

No she was outside her belly.
I was inside.
I was pregnant.

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15 minutes of heaven

On my lunch break, I decide to take a drive down to the mall to get a chair massage
Because my shoulder, neck, and arm are acting up again.

Yep, that’s right, in the middle of the mall, there’s a store where you can get your massage on

You can choose from their menu:

Chair massage
12 minutes - $15
15 minutes - $17
24 minutes - $24

Foot Massage
5 minutes - $5
12 minutes - $15
30 minutes - $30

Bed Massage
30 mins - $30
60 mins - $60

Now mind you I’m on a lunch break, so I go for the 15 minutes of heaven.

You sit down in this contraption chair
And place your face in the hole.

The girl ties my hair up,
Well she tries anyway while rubber band after rubber band breaks.
And I’m thinking to myself, I hope this isn’t cutting into my 15 minutes of heaven.

Then she begins.

She lightly massages my shoulders
Up my spine
To my neck

Then she gets in good, with the elblows
On one side of the shoulders, and the knots I have aint no joke.
They’re popping and cracking and she grinds her elbow in
I can hear her huffing and puffing.

She’s yelling at her co-workers in her language (kinda like when you're getting your nails did)
and I can only imagine what she’s saying
“What the hell is wrong with this lady”
“She must be smoking crack if she thinks this 15 mins is gonna relieve her pain”

Well ma'am, my insurance doesn’t cover massages, so you’re my only hope
But we won’t get into that!

And again I’m thinking, isn’t this place called Relaxation Stop?
Why are you and your people yelling at each other anyway?
Why are the people in the corner waiting for their friend discussing all forms of Herbalife?
Your friend probably tried to duck into this place to get away from your non stop talking asses.
But you followed her in here and won't shut up!
Doesn’t anyone realize this place is called Relaxation Stop for crying out loud??!!

I’m trying to enjoy my 15 minutes of heaven.

Back to the massage…
She takes my arm in this Figure 4 lock, you remember from the old WWF days.
And locks it in behind my back, while she again digs her elbow in my shoulder muscles.
Then along my spine.

Now I’m thinking, this has definetly gone over the 15 minutes
And she hasn’t even moved on to the other side.

What if my time is up?
what’s she gonna do?
Is she gonna kick me out of the chair?
The other side hurts more!

Well thank goodness, on she moves to the other side.

And again with the popping and cracking of my muscles as she massages
and does her elbow grinds
then the Figure 4 arm lock
with the additional elbow grinds.

After that she proceeds to dot my back with this ointment from her magic green bottle.
I can smell the menthol (reminds me of grandma's salonpas)
and she rubs it in
one side then the next
then works it in with the forearm
along the muscle
But I do notice that she can't decide whether to massage under the shirt (cause it's a scoopback)
or on top of the shirt
Then her cleverness decides to pull my shirt up over the ointment and massage
and here I go thinking again...
Ummm...doesn't she realize this is my new shirt for vacation?
She better not be getting my brand new "silk" shirt full of stains
and she rubs and rubs the ointment in with MY NEW SHIRT!
I begin to imagine walking outta here smelling like an asian massage parlor
with ointment stains along the back of my shirt.

Now you know you’re just about done when the start to slap the crap out of your back.
All along, up and down

That’s when I realize that my face is so far in this little hole that my lips are starting to tingle and I might just be cutting off any circulation.

So I wiggle my pinkie, and yes, it’s tingling too.
I’m thinking, great, I’ve cut off circulation to my whole body with my head in this contraption.

I’m also thinking, I’ve gone over my 15 minutes, how much is she gonna charge me now?

I look up and yes, 25 minutes has passed!
Yikes!!

Wasn’t this relaxing?!
I mean I know I certainly described it as relaxing!

She rings me up $17, plus $3 tip,
ahhhh...
that was relaxing!!


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Mostly Wordlless Wednesdays...Mama's Boys

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Love is…saying you're sorry

When you realize you’re wrong

Even if you had a long frustrating day at work
Even if you checked the kids grades
(because now you can watch over your kids like a hawk)
you weren’t too happy with what popped up on the screen.
Then your drive home felt like an eternity

And you asked someone to do something but they questioned you.

Even when you got home you were steamin' mad and frustrated
And took phones away
And yelled
And punished
And yelled

Then while cooking dinner you realized that you were being too harsh
And the punishment didn’t fit the crime
And sometimes it’s ok for them to question you if there’s good reason.
Because you wish you would speak up and question and confront things when you feel they’re wrong, not just agree and comply because it’s authority.

So you breathe.

Then you say…I’m sorry.
even if you have to say it to your kids.



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