How to Love

We were having dinner at a local Mexican cantina that we found The Boy, Teen 2, hubby, and I.

The Boy is a restless eater.
He can never sit still.
At home, he leans back on the chairs lays down,
rolls around in the chairs
slips out from under the dining table to fetch a glass of this or that

At the restaurant, he finishes a portion of his taco plate
stands up and makes his way over to me

I look at his little face thats growing and changing
I stare into his warewolf eyeballs that change colors
I admire the little freckles across the bridge of his nose and upper cheeks

I look at his face, pull him in close to me and say "I love you son"
He looks at me, smiles, then turns away.

Son, I love you. I repeat.
He gives me that one raised eyebrow crooked face.

Tell me, you love me. I plea.
I look at his dad with that "you better make him tell me he loves me" face.
Hubby nudges the boy, tell your mom. iloveyou.

he quickly says without looking at me.
Sheesh, who taught you how to love, your dad? I ask.
With a straight face, he looks at me and replies- Little Wayne.

It Takes a Bush

Our family tree is not grown perfectly upright

with all its branches and leaves pruned just right
where the green grass grows all around and around…
where the green grows all around

We’re better compared to a bush

As my Stepmom’s husband
(who, just to clarify, is not my Dad)
would say.

And our bush has been growing wildly.

Hence my absence.

Teen 1 has since grown all up-
graduated, married, had a beautiful baby boy, and moved out
(not particularly in that order, but hey, that’s how we do)

Teen 2 is now a senior- Yikes. That’s all I can say about that.
She has a job, earned enough credits early to have minimum days at school, and is deciding what to do when she grows up

And our rambunctious little toddler is now a full grown boy.

Raising teenagers is no walk in the park.
It’s been beyond challenging.
I know I was no angel, if you recall this blog-http://daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/2009/07/life-changingteen-pregnancy.html
this was a doozy on my parents.

I often talk to my parents and tell them I don’t know how they dealt with it.
How do you deal with a teenage pregnancy, knowing yourself how hard it is.
Knowing the discrimination your child will go through.
How do you deal with your child raising their own child in your home.

I’ve also been that mom that’s gone into a house party at midnight to search for my daughter, grabbed a hold of her, and yelled at anyone & everyone in my way.

And probably would’ve beaten the living crap out of her if I knew they weren’t watching.

It’s
Been
ROUGH
to say the least.

But life is challenging.

I’m sure I’m not alone- even though I felt as though I was
Many times throwing my hands up in the air and giving up
Wanting to quit the roll of being the mom

But with the help of my husband and all the branches of our bush

We survived.

We’ve come out better people.
Things have calmed down (knock on wood)
Everyone has branched out into their own person
Although I know it will change
They will change
We will grow more branches
Which will produce more little leaves

Colors will change with the seasons
We will continue to love and nurture the bush
And we will all be there to support one another
We hope you follow along as we grow
Janelle

A bouffant, a bomber, and a walker

walk into a bar
no seriously...

I drive through a very large, very diverse city on my way to work
I actually love this city,
There are beautiful old Spanish style homes
Great big mansions on the hill
Older, poorer neighborhoods nestled in between gorgeous 1920's Victorian homes
A small little downtown area where everything is in walking distance
Quaint older shops and dirty sleezy motels with hookers walking along the main highway
And the only traffic circle that seems to exist in SoCal

On this particular morning, I’m driving down a long stretch of the road
I look to my left and notice a 70ish looking woman with a I Love Lucy red bouffant and little twisty bun
She’s got on a pink v neck tank and a grey velour sweat suit and wedged flip flops of course
She’s walking along with an older man in a cap and a bomber jacket down the alleyway
It’s 7:40 in the morning and they’re pointing up at something on the building while discussing it
I look up at the sign and realize that they are at “Til 2am” bar

They must own the joint and are talking about the exterior that needs to be fixed, I’m thinking
I drive a few feet further
I see the even older guy sitting on the bench outside the joint like he’s the bouncer
Until I notice that he’s got his metal walker parked in front of him

I chuckle to myself

It’s 7am, and this their spot
As I’m getting older, I realize that you never really feel like you’re older
Of course you’re stressed
You deal with “adult” things
Work
Bills
Raising kids of your own
But deep down inside, when you’re hanging with friends
Or really enjoying life, you don’t feel any older than you did in your prime-
Whatever age that may be.

So go on with your bad self
Enjoy every moment of it!!
Big red bouffant and all


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Ask and You Shall Receive

The Boy was told to do his homework by his Daddy.
Not just once, but several times in passing.
The Boy was in the back family room and each time in passing his dad would firmly say,
Son, you better get your homework done.

I was in the dining room, fooling around with some papers or something.
After a few minutes of hearing the T.V. blaring
And watching The Boy run in and out of the kitchen
I intervene.

Son, I say as I’m walking to the family room, you need to start working on your homework
I am, he insists as waves his hands over his papers that are spread out on the coffee table.
His pencil box is open.
And his apple is standing on it’s bottom- eaten to the core.

I grab the remote control and turn the T.V. off
You have to get your homework done or you will lose your T.V. privileges, I explain.
I turn around to walk away.
By the way, what does that mean anyway, he asks inquisitively?
What does what mean?
T.V privileges, he says shyly.
It means you won’t be able to watch T.V. at ALL, in my most dramatic voice.
I’m secretly smiling inside that he’s asking when he doesn’t understand bigger words.

Then he continues on, ok, but for how many weeks?
1 week, I quickly reply!!

This kid is making it too easy!


http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot/

In the Dog House pt. 2

Ta-daaah!

I wish I would've taken pictures while we were painting

but I was so scared it was going to turn out terribly.

My inspiration was Mexican Riviera, Dia De Los Muertos,

I just wanted bright & colorful for this giant piece in my backyard

that was lounging by our pool

I knew what I wanted, but wasn't sure how to get there.

We started with terra cotta base color

then painted bright aqua blue in the middle section

We decided that the baseboards and corner pieces should be blue

but it was pretty horrendous from beginning

to 3/4 of the way painted

I was too scared to admit that it looked like crap

and hubby kept giving me that sideways look

but I kept smiling through it and crossing my fingers

(when he wasn't looking of course)

that it would turn out fine.

and heck,

if not,

there's always more paint!!

I recruited Teen 1 to paint the bigger dog face

the littler one is my attempt

Overall I'm pleased with their Siesta Siesta spot!

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?!

We sat around the dinner table as we do every other night
We share stories about the day when there's not too much estrogen flowing,
Listen to The Boy tell a million stories and vie for attention while we listen to the girls
Laugh at the corny jokes Teen 1 tells, they're definitely getting better
I choose my nights carefully when to bring up the subjects of chores, bills, responsibility, and the dreaded future planning of their lives.
I know that when you're talking to a teenager, if they don't like the first 5 words of your sentence.
THEIR EARS SHUT OFF
they can act like they're listening
but I can almost guarantee that the voice in their head
"Seriously, I'm 18, I'm so much smarter than my mom will ever be"
is speaking 10 times louder than the words coming out of your mouth

Somehow the subject of bills came up
so I whip out my handy dandy planner
and show them all of the bills at a glance,
I challenge them to review it and give us their idea of what a good plan for budgeting would be
we talk about college,
then I utter the words...

Let's talk about a 5 year plan

You need to have a plan, I explain to Teen 1.
And no, not the one that ended with you becoming a stripper or a single woman with 5,000 cats.

A real life plan.

I go on to tell her that one of my teachers in high school would not give me my last 10 credits to graduate until I wrote out a 5 and 10 year plan.  I found the plan years later and realized that I had actually accomplished quite a few things that I had written down.  I was 15 at the time and thought it was silly too. But I remember writing down that I wanted to buy a house, and by 19, I had actually acomplished that.

I felt like I should at least try to pass the idea and concept on to my own kids.

We chat some more and then everyone leaves the table.

A few minutes later, Teen 1 calls me out to the kitchen table and goes over her plan
It's scribbled on a piece of a paper
Not really much to it
Go to school
Move out
things that an 18 year old thinks her mom wants to hear.
She reads them out to me
Is that what you wanted? she asks in a sarcastic tone.
This isn't for me, I replied, this is for you.
It's your life, it's your plan, I continue. Then I turn around to walk away.
She crumbles up the paper and throws it in the trash
I bite my tongue.

The next day, she calls me after school as she likes to report the daily happenings.
Mom, she says, I told Chris(her boyfriend) to write out a 5 year plan.
Oh really, I ask curiously.
Yeah, I told him he needs to write out a plan for school, what he wants to do. she continues.
That's good, I say.

That's it. I say nothing else.
It takes everything in me not to say anything else.
I just smile.
It worked,
she listened,
it meant something.

That's good enough.

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/

I Do Nail Fo You

I've had a new obsession lately

Nails

as in finger nails

I love all the cool designs and simple ways to display your creativity

It started last summer when crackle was all the craze

Then the cheetah designs

The ring finger painted bright teal while all others were hot pink

I've been trying some new designs lately

check

them

out

Pac Man!

i see spots

 neon stripes

 ghost tips

http://www.daysoffivelives.blogspot.com/